Sam takes a minute, thinking about it because he doesn't think Mary needs that many details. She just needs to know enough to understand that he'd been struggling with this for a while. He doesn't want her to feel guilty though. He doesn't blame her. If there had been a demon anywhere that would have taken his soul or his future or...hell the soul of Jesus Christ, he would have sold it to get Dean back.
"I haven't either...not since," he tells her. "After that Azazel pulled us all into this ghost town with demons and it was like American Idol...psy kid edition without the singing. Last one standing. I didn't kill anybody, Mom." He looks up at her, desperation on his face because he wants her to know he didn't until...well you know, he did. "Dean came to get me and...it was me and this guy left...I could have killed him. We fought and I had this chance...I left him on the ground unconscious. Dad told us never ot use what we knew with humans...even though Jake wasn't all human. I turned my back to go to Dean and Jake...anyway, Dean brought me back and I shot him. I shot him. Killed him too." Jake not Dean but he assumes that Mary will assume that. He's conveniently skipped over the whole 'dean sold his soul to get me back' part of the story. Not that Mary won't figure that out eventually.
"The visions went away after we killed Azazel. The telekinesis never happened again. Then Dean had to be somewhere else for a while and I was on my own. I didn't do very well without him. I got migraines. I only had Ruby...she's a demon that helped us a lot. She saved my life over and over. She saved Dean's like...I trusted her and not having Dean there made me trust her more. She started showing me how to use my powers. I could exorcise a demon with my brain. But..." he stops because this is the part where it gets dicey; the part he doesn't want to tell Mary.
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"I haven't either...not since," he tells her. "After that Azazel pulled us all into this ghost town with demons and it was like American Idol...psy kid edition without the singing. Last one standing. I didn't kill anybody, Mom." He looks up at her, desperation on his face because he wants her to know he didn't until...well you know, he did. "Dean came to get me and...it was me and this guy left...I could have killed him. We fought and I had this chance...I left him on the ground unconscious. Dad told us never ot use what we knew with humans...even though Jake wasn't all human. I turned my back to go to Dean and Jake...anyway, Dean brought me back and I shot him. I shot him. Killed him too." Jake not Dean but he assumes that Mary will assume that. He's conveniently skipped over the whole 'dean sold his soul to get me back' part of the story. Not that Mary won't figure that out eventually.
"The visions went away after we killed Azazel. The telekinesis never happened again. Then Dean had to be somewhere else for a while and I was on my own. I didn't do very well without him. I got migraines. I only had Ruby...she's a demon that helped us a lot. She saved my life over and over. She saved Dean's like...I trusted her and not having Dean there made me trust her more. She started showing me how to use my powers. I could exorcise a demon with my brain. But..." he stops because this is the part where it gets dicey; the part he doesn't want to tell Mary.