018: [Location: Streets of Taxon/Visual] The truth will piss you off?

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

So today, unaware of the terrible, terrible things in store, Dean is strolling down the street. This is one of the rare days that he doesn't feel like driving, which is both a bad thing and a good thing. Good, because he's getting exercise, which in turn lets off all the extra energy he has that was originally devoted to hunting. Bad, because he doesn't have any weapons with him. You know, just in case.

So he's walking, and he's got his tablet out, flicking through the options and settings for the thousandth time, trying to see if there's anything he's missed. Of course, he accidentally sets off the visual setting, and then, once realizing it, sighs.

"Hate technology," Dean mumbles, clicking it off.

Comments

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

"Having a beer, looking at the city. Y'know. Thinking. You?"

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

"Wandering around with nothing to do. I don't wanna go back home, but there's gotta be something here I can hunt," Dean replies, and man, that was oddly specific. But whatever.

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

Toby blinks at the straight-forwardness of Dean's answer, something that doesn't happen often, if at all. "You think so?"

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Dean's a bit weirded out by that too, but okay, he'll roll with it.

"Think so what? That there's something to hunt? Hope so, 'cause I'm going out of much freakin' mind."

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

"You know, sometimes I forget how much you freak me out," Toby finds himself saying, and he looks... well, a little shocked at himself after he says it.

"I mean -- uh."

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

Dean's actually kind of shocked too. Blink blink.

"Yeah, guess I can see where that's coming from," Dean says, looking in the other direction. "Surprises me, man, considering what you can do."

That last part, he totally didn't mean to say.

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

"Well, yeah, but I don't go out... hunting things."

Gahhhh. Toby puts the side of his hand against his mouth, strangely unable to stop himself from talking.

"'m sorry."

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

Dean shrugs.

"Whatever. Not a big deal." It's not, either. Dean shouldn't care. He hasn't cared what people thought of him for years, so why start now? There's an awkward pause, and Dean starts to speak up but what he says is completely different than what he meant.

"You remind me of Sam, y'know."

... What.

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

Toby feels really bad. Like, really.

And then Dean says that.

Toby's supposed to say 'really?' But it comes out as - "I'm kinda jealous of him."

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

Dean's not really hurt, not really; he's made of tougher stuff than that. He's kind of more awkward than anything, because he keeps forgetting Toby isn't like Sam, doesn't know how weird life is.

Wait. Jealous?

"What? Why?"

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

He can't stop himself from saying this, and it's freaking him the hell out.

"'Cause he has a brother, you for a brother, I mean, somebody who's there all the time, who would do anything for him, go to Hell for him - I mean - ahhh - I don't have a family, I never met my brother - he's lucky."

Toby's not looking at the tablet now. At all costs. Jesus Christ.

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

It's actually sort of freaking Dean out, too, but hearing this... it's also reassuring, as well. Toby's not looking at the tablet, but Dean is, and then he's speaking again and he can't help it.

"I'm not that great of a brother, Toby, really, man. Couldn't even stop Sam from doing all that demon crap, y'know?" Dean wants to stop, he doesn't want to be telling Toby this, or anybody this. "I mean, you shouldn't-- I'm not someone you should trust like that, I'm gonna let you down, I know I will."

And now Dean's looking away, slumping against a wall and dropping his tablet next to him so that it's facing the sky, still on visual.

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well it's better than having nothing at all."

Shut up, Toby, shut up.

"All I got back home that comes close is Ray, Olivia and Oz. And you know what, it figures that none of them are here."

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

Wince. Toby won't see it, but there's a flinch on Dean's end.

"Not like I know what a real family's like either," Dean says sharply. Then he stops, and sighs, kneading at his forehead.

"... 'm sorry, man. Wish you had 'em."

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

"So do I."

He goes quiet for a long time, freaked out.

"What's happening?"

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

"Don't know. I can't control what's coming out of my mouth, man."

Dean says it quietly.

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

"Maybe we should..."

Jeez, it's like he's afraid that if he says anything else, the wrong thing will slip out. Again.

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

"Stop talking 'cause we're gonna end up saying things we regret?" Dean asks, and he's babbling on with something of a panicked look. "Yeah, fair enough for you, you can just read my mind later and figure out the truth anyway."

... Oh.

[notcursed.livejournal.com]

Ow. Toby's quiet for a long time, because whether or not Dean meant to say it, he still meant it.

"If I could stop it I would. Being in your head s -- " Toby bites his lip and puts his fist to his mouth, trying to make the urge to speak go away.

"-- ssssmmmmff. Look, I'll - I should go."

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

... Sucks. Being in Dean's head sucks. Dean knows.

"Yeah. Just-- just yeah," Dean replies, and he reaches over, shutting off the tablet.

After a moment, he throws it as hard and as far as he can. Sometimes he can't stand Taxon.