taxonomites | two; [voice] what i don't even -

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two; [voice] what i don't even -

[The tablet clicks on tout suite, for Ethan here has a very important question that needs to be asked of the Taxon public at large:]

'Fangtasia'. You're kidding me, right?

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[ just laughing. lots of laughing. ]

Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

[A little laughter goes here, and then, in Sookie's lilting and extremely Southern tones:]

That's more or less what I said.

[There are some slow walky noises as Ethan saunters by the entrance...]

Please don't tell me it's actually run by vamps. I don't wanna be any more embarrassed for them than I already am.

[Uh-oh, walky noises. Go go protective instinct!]

Sorry to disappoint, but it is. A couple of 'em, actually-- I wouldn't recommend going in there though. They might have a terrible sense of humor, but they're still dangerous.

[Smugly:] Wasn't planning on it. I think I know better than that.

Oh, I'm sorry for preachin' then. Most folks I've met here aren't well acquainted with vampires.

That place ain't nothin' good.

Know what else it ain't? -- Obvious enough.

[A pause as he eyes it from across the street once more.]

This isn't actually a vampire thing, is it?

What does they care about obvious? 'S long as they go by all them rules normal clubs gotta deal with, they fine.

Damn straight it is, boy. It ain't no amusement park, neither. Straight up fangs up in that shit.

[... Ethan laughs, short and bemused.]

And humans are just - what, cool with that?

[A rolling of the eyes.]

The vampire rights folk are. Don't matter if we is, or if we isn't, though. They not goin' away. So we deal.

[Pffft.]

'Vampire rights'? Bro, that's not even funny. Since when do humans give a shit about vampire rights?

Since they came out and shit? Where the fuck have you been? That's all you be hearin' on the news is those damn politicians speechifyin' and barkin' back and forth. I ain't never had no problem with 'em, til, well...

[Awwwwkward pause.]

They's a few good ones. They's a few sick motherfuckers, too.

Government standing up for vampires... that is just adorable. [Ahaaa.] I don't know what planet you're from, man, but it ain't mine.

So whose idea was it, huh? The vamps' or humans'?

Edited 2009-09-23 18:32 (UTC)

Yeah, it real cute. I'm from Bon Temps, Louisiana, baby. I don't know where you from.

What, comin' out or Fangtasia? Either way, I'll let you guess.

I can probably figure it out myself. Whatever the hell it is, though - I've never heard a damn word about this vampire rights thing. And I've been around.

[Have a giggle Ethan; a rather amused one at that] ...Are you sure that's what it's called?

'S what the sign says, sweetheart.

No signs of vandalism I suppose?

Nope. Just a neon sign.

Well.

[She pauses for a moment and then giggles again] I'm almost worried.

Doesn't sound much like it. Then again, I'm not sure if I can take it seriously either.

Do they actually have fangs?

Probably depends on whether they're vampires or whackjob human wannabes.

They'd be astoundingly stupid vampires if they are; announcing their presence like that.

My thoughts exactly. That neon sign might as well just say "set this place on fire!"

They might as well hand out the wood.

And the matches while they're at it. [Heh, pause.] You ever deal with vampires, sweetheart?

[Hesitates for a moment] ..No, people with the powers that vampires have but never an actual vampire.

An objection to the name of our club?

You mean aside from the fact that it's lame?

Mmmm. I'd ask if you had any better, but I don't take advice from mouthy humans.

[Here's an annoyed pause. He wants to argue the human thing, but can't. Ugh.]

Well maybe you should. You might end up with significantly less lame club names in the future.

[Oh, Pam heard that pause. And when she finds out why, you can bet Ethan will never hear the end of it.]

It plays well with the cattle. A night out at a vampire club, flirting with the dark... needs a suitable name. And the merchandising side sells better.

[SHE'LL NEVER FIND OUT. 8(]

You're serious. And humans just come in, gawk at the freakshow, have a few drinks with you and leave with their necks intact? [Pft.] I never thought vampires could be sellouts, but hey. You learn something new every day.

[YES. YES SHE WILL.]

Oh, no. They come in, they give us their money and their pride, and in return we have willing food supply. Off the premises, of course. The appearance of mainstreaming may be tedious, but it's necessary.

[HE'LL DO HIS BEST.]

Right. And nobody's torched the place? Hunters? Vigilantes?

[BUT PAM WINS FOREVER, OKAY.]

We take care of our interests.

Mmm, I bet you do.

What is it with people mocking his bar, damn it.

"Do you have a problem with it?"

...At least he's not broadcasting from his shiny, velvet throne.

Edited 2009-09-25 00:51 (UTC)

Aw, am I offending you guys?

"As the opinion of some fool human matters to me."

I think it'd be hard to make your food afraid of you when you're hosting bars that make vampires look like a joke. Just sayin'.

"The aim isn't fear. It's cash. Which Fangtasia happens to make quite a bit of." Yes, Eric is a consummate businessman.

"Besides, whatever we make vampires look like has little to no bearing on what we can do."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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[visual] I HAD TO DO IT

[voice] AND ILU FOR IT.

[voice] HE WILL GROW TO HATE PAM V V FAST.

[voice] OH, LIKEWISE BB.

[voice] pam is like SO WE HERD U USED TO BE A VAMPIRE :> SUCKS FOR YOU, BLOODBOY

[voice] Ethan is like SCREW YOU GUYS I'M TAKING MY BALL AND GOING HOME

[voice] Pam smirks.

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