008: [location: serenity] & [accidental visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

Here is Mal, thankfully not smashing things in a rage this time around, but instead absorbed in a much more sedate activity. Said activity involves the kitchen table on board Serenity, and a frankly bizarre array of ingredients spread out across it, with a mixing jug in the middle. He appears to be doing something ungodly involving high protein milk bars, oatmeal, sarsparilla, root beer, chocolate milk and... bourbon. An educated viewer might recognize some of these as the formula for making Mudder's Milk, the local drink of Canton. An uneducated viewer might just think he has malfunctioning taste buds.

In any case, once he's done mixing the suspect concoction, he raises the jug to his mouth and takes a deep glug, before promptly spitting a large quantity of it back out again, and wiping his lips with quite evident revulsion.

"Well, if that ain't just the most disgustin' thing I ever had in my mouth." 

Comments

[Visual]

[sgmitchell.livejournal.com]

He could admit, privately, that the reason he'd been watching at all was boredom. Some days, the tablet really was the next best thing to television--sad as that was.

Like any avid viewer, sometimes he couldn't help commenting. "Probably could've guessed that before you drank it."

[Visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's not sad, Mal does it too. Taxon is sorely lacking in legitimate leisure activities. That said, it does still bother him somewhat when every so often he discovers the tablet recording him unwittingly.

"True, but that ain't in the spirit of adventure, is it?" He replies, rather ruefully.

[Visual]

[sgmitchell.livejournal.com]

Cameron did try to be very careful with the tablet, especially when doing things he'd rather not broadcast to the city, but he had the sinking feeling he was only postponing the inevitable. He ignored the notion that the inevitable would be worse for delaying.

"I'm sure there's a line along there somewhere."

[Visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

"As in a line between the two concepts of 'adventure' and 'stupid'?"

Clearly Cameron will one day fall victim to the 'accidental visual' curse-- it's like a sacred Taxon rite of passage. No-one is exempt.

[voice]

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

And you were expecting something different?

[visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

Mal recognizes Dean's voice, and as he no longer wants to shoot the kid, he's fairly personable.

"Well, it can be near-on tolerable, if you can get the recipe right. Which, evidently I can't, as this tastes worse than a monkey's hindquarters."

...he likes his creative imagery, okay.

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

[Well, that's a relief. Dean had been vaguely worried about the whole 'becoming swiss cheese' thing.]

I don't know what the hell kind of drink you got where you come from, but I'm gonna go ahead and say this: duh.

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

"You shouldn't knock what you ain't had the misfortune of tryin'."

...not that Mal is trying to defend Mudder's Milk, because really. That's a lost cause.

"And, for the record, where I'm from we don't got a whole lot that don't involve some kinda protein or other-- which leaves very little room for culinary finesse."

[visual]

[glowingseer.livejournal.com]

"Trying to poison yourself, aren't you?"

Sorry, Mal. But with Xander gone, Cordelia is in search of someone else to troll. Her search has led her to you. Be afraid.

[visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

"Yes, you interrupted my tragic end."

Why yes, that is rather deadpan sarcasm. Not that he minds the Cordelia trolling of course-- in fact he's smiling, just a little.

[visual]

[glowingseer.livejournal.com]

"Yes, because everyone's tragic end should include root beer and chocolate milk. If the calories won't kill you, I don't know what will."

Well! Let it not be said that she's not finding comfort in Mal's fail. At least she's not the only untalented food-person in Taxon!

[visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

"My goodly well-groomed goat-rescuer woman, are you perchance callin' me fat?"

He says this with a dramatic hand-to-heart gesture, looking mortally offended. Also, he's still a better cook than Cordelia. Seriously, soy sauce and chocolate? Just say no.

[visual]

[caringhand.livejournal.com]

Penny's just still trying to figure out the darn tablets, but she's slowly getting the hang of it. When she spies Mal on the screen, though, she nearly drops the entire thing out of sheer surprise.

"Captain Hammer?" she asks, wrinkling her nose in shock. "I - what are you doing?"

[visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

Oh boy. Mal's already had this mistaken identity routine with Billy, so it's with some mild exasperation that he replies.

"I can assure you that whoever this 'Captain Hammer' guy is, he's not me, and I don't intend to freeze and/or death ray you. Name's Malcolm Reynolds and I'm... makin' a beverage. Badly."

[visual]

[caringhand.livejournal.com]

Penny squints at the screen for a moment, then seems to relax imperceptibly. "Right! Um, Billy told me about you, I think. Sorry, I'm Penny. And you shouldn't mind being mistaken for Captain Hammer.. he's our city' biggest hero."

She leans forward, as if trying to discern what's going on, what ingredients he's throwing into the drink. "I'd offer to help, but, um, I'm not sure what you're making." Or what any of the ingredients are.

[visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

He softens a little, worried that he might've been a little more cantankerous than was strictly necessary. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Penny, and there's no call for apologies. Maybe I just got one of those faces. Billy-- that'd be the weird kid that likes to play dress-up, right?"

He casts a look at the impressive mess around him, before answering. "I'm not positive there's any amount of help could redeem this anyhow. It's called 'Mudder's Milk'-- s'posed to keep mud workers hale and hearty, and get 'em pleasantly inebriated at the same time."

[location: Serenity]

[serene-grace.livejournal.com]

"... what are you making?"

Inara has changed into a much more simple dress and shawl and has been wandering around the ship, reminding herself of all the nooks and crannies. And she's headed into the kitchen at just the right wrong moment.

"That looks positively vile, Mal."

[location: Serenity]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

"Mudder's Milk." Mal answers, glancing up at Inara with a curious half smile/grimace combination, the former at seeing her, the latter at the taste in his mouth.

"And it tastes every bit as vile as it looks, so at least it don't disappoint. Care for a glass?" Yes, he's fully expecting an emphatic 'no' here.

[location: Serenity]

[serene-grace.livejournal.com]

She laughs, shaking her head merrily at him. Dark curls tumble about her shoulders, loosened from the elaborate coif she had previously been wearing. "I think I'll pass on the cocktail."

However, something's caught Inara's eye -- beyond the rugged manliness of the Captain, of course. "But I might indulge in a little of your bourbon, if it's being offered up all on its own."

[voice]

[freaks-myword.livejournal.com]

Way too easy.

[visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

Hmm yes, now that Mal has the chance to consider his wording, that did sound slightly dubious. Of course he will feign ignorance, however.

"Gwen! I'm sure I have no idea what you might mean by that."

[visual]

[freaks-myword.livejournal.com]

He walked right into it, really.

"My apologies, Captain. I forget about your innocent mind, sometimes."

[Visual]

[semimuscular.livejournal.com]

It had been a while since Wash had surfaced. The pilot had taken Zoe's disappearance badly; partly because he didn't understand it, partly because he hadn't been able to prevent it and most of all because she was his wife. He'd never felt a sense of loss like it. The memory of Zoe - the empty space in their bed, the silence of the cockpit - filled the ship like something solid. Jokes and dinosaur-related hijinks had been dying on his lips.

But he'd never seen Mal cooking before. Wash just couldn't help himself.

"Sort of makes you wish we had some of Canton's finest Mudder's Milk, doesn't it?"

[Visual]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

Maybe part of Mal's cooking was an attempt to distract from Zoe's disappearance. Admittedly it wasn't a coping strategy he'd ever tried before, but familiar tastes brought back familiar memories of better times, and that was a little cheering in itself. He knew Wash was taking it very hard though, and he certainly couldn't reproach his pilot for that.

"It does indeed. 'Specially as my approximation tastes like xióngmāo niào*... moreso than the regular kind does." He grimaced illustratively as he said this. "You reckon the hatches could do better?"

*[panda urine]

[semimuscular.livejournal.com]

"I think I could do better, Mal," said Wash, cheerfully. Given the pilot's lack of talent in the kitchen, that was a dire insult indeed. It was a shame that he wasn't able to manage a more serious delivery. Not that Wash was a particularly serious person. (It was nice to be reminded of that, actually.)

"You could try baking instead?"