taxonomites | [Location: Where the Bronze used to be/Accidental visual] You can sit beside me when the world comes

In the days after Willow had found out that Xander had been taken from the city of Taxon, she had gone through a myriad of emotions. None of them positive. Anger, fear, depression, all that angsty goodness. She took no comfort in the memories she had of him, knowing that he was gone. There was the off-chance that he'd return, like Dean's mother and Sam, but if he did, would he remember being here? Would he be from a world that didn't have her? This questioned weighed heavily on Willow's mind, which sent her spiraling downward. Deeper into her depression.

Finally, after two days of milling about in her pajamas, not caring, not turning on her tablet, Willow sprung into action. She didn't bother dressing, staying in her purple bunny pajamas, her feet bare. She made her way downstairs to the library, grabbing one of the more advanced witchcraft books, and a satchel full of ingredients. Several of them were intended to help with the restoring of Xander's eye, but they wouldn't be much use now, would they?

Willow made her way through the streets to where the Bronze used to be, looking at the empty, nondescript building that had taken its place. Willow's chin trembled and she grit her teeth. She hated this place. It was all a lie. Xander had his mind, Tara was alive. It was all just temporary. Entering the building, Willow crossed the floor to the middle of the large, open space, dropping the satchel. Within a few minutes, she had a large, archaic symbol drawn on the floor. Stepping into the center, several small candles placed at key points, Willow closed her eyes, summoning up the energy swirling inside her, begging to be freed.

Opening her eyes, her pupils seemed to expand, covering most of her eye, leaving a little white at the edges.

"Götter der Dunkelheit
Dreher der Wirklichkeit
Ich flehe Sie an

Schaffen Sie für mich, ein Loch
Dringen Sie durch den Raum ein
Hören Sie Zeit auf

Bringen Sie mir, worum ich bitte.
Ich flehe Sie an."

Purple-blue lights began to swirl around the witch as she began the incantation, spinning and dipping faster as her voice rose. "Ich flehe Sie an!" She cried and the lights seemed to freeze in the air in front of her, before shattering outwards, breaking the windows in the room.

Willow had winced a little, closing her eyes when the lights exploded. After a few moments, she opened them, to find nothing but broken windows and blown out, knocked over candles. And the satchel had scooted a few feet away in the small explosion.

But there was no Xander. Willow's eyes flooded once more with tears and her chin trembled. "Shit...."

((ooc: Crappy German translation for crappy fake!spell: "Gods of the dark
Turners of reality
I implore you
Create for me, a hole
Pierce through space
Stop time
Bring me what I request.
I implore you.
I implore you."))

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"Okay." Buffy nodded, half to Willow and half to herself-- her mind was already racing over practical things, like where the first aid box was (the bathroom?), because although Willow had said she wasn't hurt, there was so much glass... she was also pretty sure that she'd seen purple bunny pajamas, so a coat would be helpful... she ran around the house to grab these things, then left, walking with enough urgency that it bordered on a jog. The tram had the courtesy to arrive quickly, and within ten minutes she was striding down the street where the Bronze used to be.

"Will?" She called tentatively, as she walked inside the sad excuse for a building. "Will, it's me."

"I'm here," Willow's voice came from the center of the room. She hadn't moved since Buffy had last spoke. The tears came slowly and Willow swallowed hard, lifting a hand to wipe at her nose.

"I'm okay," Willow added.

Only not. Willow, you are a terrible liar.

Yes, sorry Willow, but that was not even close to credible. Buffy hurried over to where her best friend was, glass crunching underfoot as she went. Once there she dropped the spare coat and first aid box she'd brought along with her on the ground, and moved to touch Willow's arm, gently.

"What happened?"

And there it was. The twenty five thousand dollar question.

"I tried to bring Xander back," Willow replied softly, her bottom lip trembling as she lifted her head slowly to look up at her friend's face. "It didn't work. I did everything right and it still didn't work."

'I tried to bring Xander back'. The words 'bringing' and 'back' had all sorts of unpleasant associations for her-- ones that mostly involved crawling her way out of a coffin. These were volatile magics, prone to screwing up monumentally, and ones she didn't particularly want her friend to be messing with.

"Willow, spells like that..." She started, but then seeing Willow's expression she faltered, unable to deliver the lecture. She missed Xander too, and she understood the reasons. "It's not your fault it didn't work. It's... it's Taxon. I don't think it's possible to bring people here with spells-- just like we can't use magic to leave."

The tears continued steadily, but Willow was no longer doing that gasping, crying and coughing so hard that you're going to choke thing. And that was good.

Willow visibly cringed when Buffy began the lecture, looking down at her hands. Sniffling quietly, Willow looked back up at Buffy. This time's good as any, right? "Buffy...I know," Willow said softly, her words laced with guilt.

It was upsetting to see Willow this distraught, and Buffy had to swallow hard to keep her voice steady.

"You know what?" She asked quietly, her brow furrowed with mixed confusion and concern.

"About...me. About the magicks," Willow said quietly, wishing desperately to break the eye contact. Even mentioning it makes Willow feel massive amounts of guilt and she hadn't even done it.

"Tara told me.... I think it was a month or two ago...."

"...oh." Willow wouldn't have to worry about the eye contact for much longer, because Buffy looked away at that point. She needed a second to figure out how to explain.

"Willow, I would've told you myself, but you said you didn't want to hear anything about the future. Which... isn't even necessarily yours. We're not from the same reality. Who knows if things would even end up that way for you?"

"I know I said I didn't want to know...." Willow said softly, sniffling.

"But the way you guys acted whenever I'd want to do something with the magicks. Like walking on broken glass or something. Being super cautious and not just because I was using magick." Willow says, admitting that she noticed the awkwardness.

"You should have just told me instead of acting like that...."

"Maybe I should have." She didn't bother to deny the fact that she'd been cautious about Willow using magic-- she had been, and she knew it.

"I was just trying to protect you. I didn't want you to have it hanging over you, on top of... god, everything else we have to deal with in this place-- and if I told you that, what else would I have to tell you? There's... so much, Will."

"But I don't need protecting," Willow protested.

"I'm a big girl and I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Sure, I would have been upset and possibly depressed about what could happen to me, but I wouldn't have been mad at you for keeping such a huge secret from me," Willow replied, her bottom lip trembling.

"You start at the beginning. And we go from there," Willow sniffled, lifting her hand to wipe at her cheek.

"I'm sorry." Buffy said quietly, but in earnest. "I'm sorry for hiding this from you. If you had any idea how hard it's been, not to be able to talk to you about this stuff..." It was true, it had been hard-- she loved Xander dearly, but there were some things she would always instinctively turn to Willow for, and not being able to do that was a constant effort on her part.

"Okay." She nodded, before gesturing at their crappy surroundings. "Now?"

Willow nodded slowly, sniffling. She lifted a hand to her neck, scratching it gently before knocking a few small bits of plaster that had fallen from the ceiling, to the floor.

"Now's probably not the best time," Willow said, finally starting to move in the positive direction of actually getting up.

[Location: Where the Bronze used to be/Accidental visual] You can sit beside me when the world comes

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