taxonomites | 005: [Visual] [Location: Walking around near the Sanctuary] No news is good news.

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005: [Visual] [Location: Walking around near the Sanctuary] No news is good news.

(OOC: This is a canon update to Heroes 4x08: Shadowboxing. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

It had been a bad day from the moment she had woken up. The idea of getting some kind of memory upgrade wasn't new to Claire, but the memories were. She could clearly remember Gretchen saying that she wasn't like her before she left, and how lonely she had felt sleeping in an empty dorm room. Her dad had almost killed Becky - to protect her, as usual. He wanted her to have the millions of normal things that she wanted but was never going to get. If Becky wasn't standing in her way, someone else would be.

As she started out of the Sanctuary, her thoughts drifted back to Sylar and his 'identity crisis'. She wanted to believe that she was wrong, but everything in her said otherwise. Every time she tried to think up another way to explain what Angela had said to her, she came up empty. And it wasn't just what she had said, it was the fact that she had never heard anything about Nathan being in trouble after that. Nathan hadn't mentioned it and didn't have any memories beyond that day. She kept catching up to the way things could have been at home, but his mind wasn't doing that. His memories stopped in that hotel room.

Gretchen was lucky to have gotten out when she could, because she was right; this was everyday life for Claire. The people she cared about were always in trouble. If they didn't leave, they ended up hurt or killed. It wasn't always her fault, but it was her life. She couldn't expect other people to give up theirs just because she cared about them. The truth was, she asked enough of people just by expecting them to believe that she had been through everything that she said she had. And she needed to stop trying to fix problems that were bigger than her with the first solution that came to mind.

Claire quickened her pace, turning her tablet on, then off, then on again as she walked. She wanted to check in on Nathan and talk to Peter, but she wasn't sure that she should do that right away. "Hey, it's -" she stopped talking, rubbing her eyes tiredly and continuing to move away from the Sanctuary.

"Nevermind, just..." If she couldn't form a sentence, she probably shouldn't have been trying to start a conversation with anyone. "Just, forget I said anything."

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"It isn't worth it." Nathan told Claire simply, not wanting to invalidate what she was feeling, but being honest just the same. He looked at Peter, and sighed, getting to his feet and offering a hand up. "Claire's worried, and to be honest... I'm a little worried myself."

Just because he'd thought it was coming didn't mean he'd wanted it to. And what would happen when they finally did get out of there? There was no way to know. "We don't know how long we're going to be here, or what's going to happen when we leave. So I think it's justified."

But. "As far as what Sylar may or may not've done, we don't know." He looked between the two of them. "No one's passing judgement right now because we can't. And right now, he's not hurting anyone. We've got no room to act on anything here one way or the other."

"But we know that he has moments where he thinks he's you," Claire pointed out. She wasn't going to waste her breath reminding them that she had passed judgment on Sylar a long time ago. It was one of the reasons why Peter seemed so determined to protect him. "He doesn't know that he's doing it, Nathan. He slips right out of his shape and into yours." As much as she hated talking about it, she couldn't get the words out fast enough. She wanted this over with.

"Your mom went with me to the Stanton when I was looking for you guys. She left to go find Matt Parkman as soon as we got in the lobby." Claire shoved her hands in her pockets, giving them a moment to either listen or stop her from continuing. "She said that Matt had to save you." She looked at Nathan, because that was easier than facing Peter, even with this news. "I told her to warn you, and she said she couldn't change her dreams. The best she could do was push the outcome."

If the outcome was what Claire was thinking, Matt hadn't saved Nathan at all. "I was through files at Primatech, trying to find some record of any kind of ability that would explain what's happening to Sylar. I think Matt convinced him that he was you. Adam says he'd have the power to do it."

Peter wanted to scream 'Why does it matter?' But, he didn't. They couldn't change it. And, Nathan was here. He didn't see why it mattered if they weren't home. They were still in Taxon, but he wasn't going to voice his opinion. It would start a fight. Again.

"Yeah, but Gabriel still has to have a reason to want to be Nathan." Peter said stubbornly. "He's running away from what he's done. We have to convince him that he can't be Nathan. And the easiest way to do that is by not beating him up emotionally and psychology for what he's done. That's what is making him want to become Nathan so much."

Or at least that was what he thought. Even if Parkman did that? Gabriel still had to want to be someone other than himself. And knowing how his ability worked? Peter couldn't blame him. But, it was still wrong.

The idea that his mother had orchestrated this didn't surprise him. Nathan was quiet until Peter finished, then nodded. Although he had a bit of a hard time reconciling with just how close Peter and Sylar -- Gabriel -- apparently were, and how concerned Peter didn't seem to be, he knew he wasn't going to change Peter's mind.

"We're leaving it for now. What's done is done." He said finally, looking to Claire. "I appreciate you concern, I do. But I don't know how else to handle this yet. I wish I did. If this doesn't end well for me..." So be it.

"Regardless. No more fighting."

"I'm sorry, I can't stand here and pretend it's okay that Peter is more concerned with Sylar's emotional state than your death," she argued, tensing up and taking a step away from both of them. Peter had skipped over everything important to her and gone straight to instructing them to do what Sylar needed. For Claire, this was about trying to prevent Nathan's death when they got home, not protecting the person who had taken him away from them. They had access to information here that they didn't have at home. Maybe they could find something useful in Helen's library. It wasn't as hopeless as Nathan was making it sound. It couldn't be.

"If I'm the one obsessing, why are you the one who has to make everything about Sylar? I couldn't even compliment your costume on Halloween without him coming up," Claire reminded Peter, turning to him. She didn't care to hold back anymore. It was bad enough that he had her trying to be civil to Sylar. Now he was talking about making things easy for him. "You can't be my hero and his best friend." The more he defended Sylar, the more betrayed she felt by the whole thing. It got worse every time they fought over it. "You just, can't. And I already know that you're not picking me."

She was getting tired of watching people leave her. First Nathan, then Gretchen. Peter would inevitably end up going by choice, over the man who had killed his brother. If she was being completely honest, Claire would say that she had known it was coming for a while, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. "I'm done fighting. I can't keep doing this with you. You were the one person I thought I could count on no matter what. And I was wrong." She swallowed hard, fighting the lump in her throat and the tears that she didn't want to give him over this. "I'm done."

Peter stood right up and gave Nathan an apologetic look. He felt bad for this, he did. But, Claire had to understand. He couldn't just dance around the bush anymore. She had gone and hit something that mattered to him. He pulled his gaze away from Nathan and turned to Claire. She was an adult now. He didn't have to hold back the punches if she was going to swing at him anyways.

"You don't get to say you're done fighting after you throw the punch. You want to be an adult? You're going to have to argue like one. And that's not punching someone in the face and walking away." He moved in front of her to make sure she didn't leave. "I told you why I'm keeping you from killing him, when I know you want to. And it's not good enough. Now you're trying to say that he matters more to me than Nathan does? No. Nathan is my brother, and even though I understand Gabriel, he's still not my brother, Nathan is."

Peter glanced at Nathan again then looked back at Claire. "But, you're forgetting that Nathan is an adult. We've taken the steps we've had to try and make life manageable here, Claire." He took in a deep breath to try and calm himself down even though he knew it wasn't going to help.

"I can't... I can't focus on shit I can't change." He forced the answer out. Even though it made him feel pathetic, weak, and small. "I can't sit here and focus on something that might have happened back home. If Sylar killed Nathan, what am I supposed to do about it? I can't fucking fix it, Claire! I can't go back and save my own damn brother if he is dead. Even if we get out. Even if we get home. I can't fucking change the past, even with Hiro's ability. You have any idea what that's like? To have to sit here, and watch your niece try and find a reason for something that you can't fix that happened to one of the people you love the most? I can't help people here. I can't save my brother. The only thing I can do is try and pretend everything is okay when I know it's not! Or try and help someone who I know I can help! And then I'm berated by my niece, one of the people I love the most, for doing the only thing I can do!"

He shut his eyes and ran his hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down. He felt so pathetic for saying all of it. And he probably was pathetic.

"I ... just, I can't handle that, Claire. I can't..." Now he was just rambling. Great. "If, if, Nathan is dead back home? I just... I don't want to even - he's here--" He shut himself up before he continued to ramble.

"Alright." Nathan caught Peter's shoulder, squeezing it slightly in an attempt to get him to calm down. There wasn't a right way to deal with this without looking like he was picking one over the other, and that was the last thing he wanted, but he couldn't help reacting when Peter was on the verge of a meltdown.

And how he'd thought he could play Peacemaker in the first place, he'd never know, but there wasn't much else he could do now. "Neither one of you is necessarily wrong here. You understand that, right?" He looked between the two of them, sighing.

"Claire's not obsessed, Pete, she's worried. And Peter's dealing with this the best way he knows how for the time being." And maybe that would change when it had to. Nathan was just keeping focused on this, not the affirmation that Peter did care and being sure now Sylar wasn't playing surrogate brother. "This isn't wrong. It's coping. Or at least a version of it. Understand?"

Claire didn't want to hear anything else, but she wasn't about to walk away either. She wanted to prove to Peter that this 'be an adult' demand he threw in her face every time she dared to go against him didn't scare her. His argument explained some things, but in other ways, it allowed for my questions. Why would he believe that Nathan had to die when he was working to save Hiro back home? She hated that he'd say his brother couldn't be saved, but Sylar could be, and Nathan could talk until he was blue in the face, she wasn't buying it.

"I meant I'm done relying on you for any kind of support here, Peter. And I promise, I will stay out of your way from now on." Her tone was firm but quiet, like she hated saying it as much as she hated thinking about what that was going to mean for all of them. "You think it's coping, Nathan?" She shook her head at that idea, taking a small step back. "I think I get made into a bigger villain than Sylar because I've been through enough to know that he can't be fixed! We all feel helpless here. That doesn't mean we are. People disappear all the time. We have to be prepared for what happens when we get sent home."

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005: [Visual] [Location: Walking around near the Sanctuary] No news is good news.

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