taxonomites | 18 [Glitch][Accidental Holo]

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18 [Glitch][Accidental Holo]

There's nothing really unusual about Vala's transmission, no embarrassing moment to be caught on camera as is the tablet's usual wont. Just the image of a heavily pregnant woman puttering about and arranging flowers in a vase inside a modest and somewhat medieval looking house. Her attire is similarly styled. When she's happy with the way the tulips bend over the edges of the clay vase (which doesn't happen until she's stood back at least three or four times to admire her work), she goes to the window and very surreptitiously peeks outside.

So nothing to see here then. Well unless you've ever seen Vala before and know that she definitely wasn't pregnant the last time you saw her, and there's no way she could be as far gone as she is in such a short time. There's also the fact that medieval hessian dresses are not really her style, she's usually spotted wearing SG-1 uniform or more recently various ensembles that usually incorporate black leather somewhere.

Still, she doesn't seem to think anything is out of the ordinary; until she spies the tablet though. She checks around herself warily, double checks at the window again and then cautiously heads over to fiddle with it. It doesn't take her long to figure out what it is, but how the hell did it get here?

"Hello?"

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"Hello," he answers, but his back is to the screen, his focus on straightening a painting that is a splay of swirling color only.

Well she'd hoped someone would answer, but to say she was actually expecting it would be a lie.

"Hi..." She paused awkwardly, checking over her shoulder before she spoke. "Umm, where are you speaking to me from?"

He glances over his shoulder and raises a brow at her holo. "I think that's private information, if you don't mind." He already had his last location revealed - to the Doctor himself! He wasn't about to risk it to a complete stranger, especially with his project strewn across the kitchen in the room over.

"Okay, suit yourself," Vala replied, trying to curb her sardonic tone. There was obviously more to this than met the eye. There goes her hopes of it being someone from another planet with a way off this one.

"How about we try why you're communicating with me then?" This could all be a trick after all, to test her alliegance to the Ori. Her conversation will be circumspect at best, Master.

He goes back to his work, folding his arms and stepping back to observe it, then gives it one more fix. "Ohh, because there's no good music on the radio." He doesn't actually own a radio - but he does wonder now if he hatched one, whether or not he'd actually get anything. No matter.

"Thought I would see what's playing on the tablet." He's keeping very low key right now, finally not lashing at peoples' throats and 'getting over' his glitch. Now there was work to be done.

Well, after his break of straightening up the apartment.

"Last time I checked I wasn't listed in the programming guide under the 'recommended' section, or even owned a ... tablet." She's already fingering her way through the various options and menus on the tablet, but not without constantly and nervously checking the doorway behind her.

"Who are you?" She adds skeptically after flipping the whole thing upside down and briefly disappearing from view.

He finally turns to face her fully, arms still crossed and a hand rubbing his chin. "Well, you're obviously in possession of a tablet, dear, or I would not be talking with you." He pauses, thoughtful, and cants his head. "But if you don't want it, I'd be happy to take it off your hands."

Having an extra tablet could do wonders...

He barely reacts to the lack of display for a moment. "I'm the Master. And you?"

She'd been about to switch the mode to visual, until he announced his name. Probably not the best idea to announce her technical aptitude to someone with a name like that, given where she believes herself to be.

"The Master? Right." That was most certainly not a momentary lapse of sincerity when her tongue sarcastically filled one cheek and one of her eyebrows rose. "Call me old fashioned for being hung up on details but... Master of what exactly?"

Always the same questions, wasn't it? 'Doctor who?', 'Master of what?' - he was quite alright with answering, however. A grin stretching across his face as he cheerily looms over his tablet. "Of all, of course," he remarks calmly, his voice lowering as he continues, "anything, everything. Whatever. I. Want."

He chuckles and straightens.

And that'll be where Vala affected her best attempt at appearing the picture of subjugation. Not that she's very good at it, it never was her forté, but it's evident she's trying at least.

"I don't know where the tablet came from by the way. Was nothing to do with me. One moment I didn't have one, the next I did. I swear! By the Ori, I swear by the Ori."

"...All Hallow the Ori?" She added belatedly. If he really was someone with power, she'd already fucked the whole thing up by now probably anyway.

"Ori?" he repeats, pacing away, out of sight, but the sound of tapping still fills the room. "It's been over half a year since I've heard of the Ori..." he muses aloud. When he returns he stares at her skeptically. "I had been quite pleased by that, too."

"Well clearly you're not as masterful as your name would suggest," she offered dryly.

"Because your transmission?..." His walking away served no more purpose than to irk her, hence the snappy response, "... is being received on an Ori planet. And discovery of said transmission will render you Master of nothing but your own end probably."

One, slow blink.

Then, "Dear, you're in an underground city called Taxon. If this were an 'Ori planet', as you say, I'm sure many people would not still be alive right now. That, and our alien hosts don't seem much like the Ori-worshiping type." They were even more annoying than that.

"Look. Wherever you are, clearly isn't the same place that I am. And this conversation. Well this conversation is dangerous, and for once I'm entirely innocent."

Vala checks the door once more, the last thing she needs is Seamus or Tomin arriving right now, or even worse, a Prior. As it is, she's not admitting to being a non-believer incase she's overheard or the transmission is intercepted somehow.

"I hate to be the one to inform you, but signals do not extend outside this city; therefore, you have to be in Taxon. I recommend simply stepping out of whatever place you've found yourself in and find out for yourself."

"I'm quite aware of where I am, thank you. The village square outside my window is exactly where I left it, and its residents unfortunately."

The glitch that's affected Vala, is not going to allow her to believe any different. Everyone else is deluded, she's the sane one here.

"Is this an elaborate heist to test my faith? Because if it is, you won't find anyone more enthralled by the Book of the Ori. It beats E.R, anyday."

He was the deluded one? Never.

"Fine, fine! Have it your way. Stay stuck in your little bubble. Whatever makes you happy." He rolls his eyes and stares at the screen. "I really don't care about which of the hundreds of thousands of religions you feel like devoting yourself foolishly to. I do, however, still wish for your name."

So he wasn't a believer after all, well that was promising. But still, tread carefully Vala. Anyone could be listening. She comes up very close to the tablet and whispers conspiratorially.

"No. This bubble, as you put it, is not a bubble of my own doing. I'd like nothing more than to be out of it. I have no idea where this tablet came from, but I do know it's potentially my way out of this place. I'm Vala. Vala Mal Doran."

"Hello," Tosh responded, almost automatically. She had been trying to find something to do, and finding out more seemed the logical step.

"I can only pray to the Ori that you're marginally less deluded than the last person that answered." All that crap about this place being called Taxon, someone who was actually aware of the brevity of this situation would be good right about now.

"Er..." Tosh said. "I can try, but I wouldn't guarantee anything."

Great, first outside contact away from the Ori worshipping brainwashed minions of Ver Isca in months and she gets a deluded freak apparently called 'The Master' and a woman who answers the phone like she dialled the wrong number.

"Please just tell me you're contacting me from somewhere other than this backwater of a planet I'm stuck in."

Tosh smiled to herself. "Well, that depends on what planet you think you're on," she said. "At the moment, I'm stuck on one that calls itself Taxon."

Eeek! Sorry I thought I'd responded to this!

[Okay, Xander is quite sure that whatever is going on here is not normal, and has decided to take some time out of freaking out about Angelus to make subtle enquiries.]

Vala! You seem to have an, uh, a... a very advanced bun in the oven?

[Yes, subtle.]

"Xander?!" It's a relief to hear a familiar voice, but here? In Ver Isca? Her reply is somewhere between bemused and grateful. Also, 'bun in the oven'?

"I'm pretty sure there isn't." Her face contorts with confusion, she hasn't done any baking today at all... but more importantly since when did Xander live here? Wasn't he from... well she can't quite remember but it's definitely not Ver Isca.

[Oh dear, he should have phrased that differently.]

So you just... ate a really big lunch today?

"Oh. The baby! 'Bun in the oven', nice metaphor. Yes Xander, I'm pregnant, how dreadfully observant of you. It's yours."

What? She can't help herself.

What?! [He is having a heart attack right now. Possibly literally. Except for the fact that two seconds later, he realizes that it couldn't possibly be true.]

Oooooh, right, joke. Because jokes are funny. Wait, no they're not-- Vala, don't joke like that! I nearly died. And how exactly are you pregnant?

"That's a very good question actually. One that's been vexing me for the last seven months."

Edited 2010-02-24 18:39 (UTC)

[There are so many problems with that sentence, he cannot even begin to deconstruct it. Thus, he tries a different tack.]

Riiiight. And, umm. Don't take this the wrong way, but what are you wearing? Not that it isn't nice, it's just not really... your usual style.

Well that confirms that he's definitely not from here. Which is a blessed relief, she doesn't have to lie.

"Flattery is hardly going to achieve anything when we both know I'm wearing a sack, Xander. Even if the lacing does do wonders for my cleavage."

"I'm wearing clothes that make me blend in," she adds, as if that were the most inane question he could have ever have asked. "Isn't that obvious? I suggest you do similar, if you value your life."

Edited 2010-02-25 02:03 (UTC)

Vala?

[Sheppard is...well, alright, he's confused. Plain and simple.]

Vala simply stares at the tablet for a moment or two. She knows the voice, she even knows his name, but where she knows him from is a far more perplexing thought. She can't place him at all, yet she knows she knows him really well.

"That's definitely my name, Sheppard... did I bang my head?"

Well, I wouldn't know if you did, but uh... something else happened to you by the looks of it.

Edited 2010-02-24 22:49 (UTC)

"What is it with you men and mincing your words? Buns in the oven, eaten a really big lunch, something has happened to you. Anyone would think you'd never seen a pregnant woman before, or using the term would somehow question your masculinity."

Vala pauses and looks down at her swollen belly, and not exactly in the same loving way most pregnant women tend to. "I assume you are referring to my new waistline."

Yeah. I was trying to be you know, considerate. [He clicks his tongue and tries to think of how to put it.]

I mean, you weren't pregnant a few weeks ago. And now you're... well. Really pregnant.

"I'm pretty sure I was. Did I really only see you a few weeks ago?" Cue way more confusion on her part than his probably. Nothing is making any sense at all. "Feels more like months, possibly years."

Pretty sure. You went gun ho on that bar. [Well, now he's just worried. Does Taxon speed up pregnancies now?]

"Trust me, Sheppard. The only bar I've seen in seven months is the poor excuse of an inn, here in Ver Isca, permanently watched over by the ever present surveillance of Seamus."

She leans in to whisper, as if someone might be listening. "And I'd appreciate a ..." The door behind her opens and Vala slams closed the tablet quickly, ending the transmission abruptly.

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18 [Glitch][Accidental Holo]

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