taxonomites | 034: [ location : the sky ] the blues walked in and met me

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034: [ location : the sky ] the blues walked in and met me

It's not the first time Buffy's woken up with a shiny new set of memories, but the other times haven't been like this. The other times she hadn't found out that she's a monster. A vampire. A thing.

Losing her powers for two months, the ordeal with Angelus, losing Dean, going through that cruel glitch with Ethan, losing Giles for the second time... the combined weight of the past year spent in Taxon is finally beginning to take its toll on her, and in epic fashion.

Which is why she's decided to take matters into her own hands. Literally. Anyone looking up at the sky will see an odd, vaguely discernible blur, flying into an invisible barrier, impacting hard and then bouncing off again, only to repeat the action. Over and over. She's trying to break through the wall, and it isn't working.

[ooc: canon bump to issue #33, but before the big Twilight reveal. Gonna be slowtagging on this one due to hiatus, but there we go. ALSO she has her tablet with her, so is contactable.]

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I'm sorry. Are you home?

Yeah. I'm in my room.

Help me eat these cookies?

A couple minutes later, there's a knock on Buffy's door. Tara pokes her head in. "Hey. Left you too many, huh?" She smiles a little, though there's soft concern there too.

"Yeah, don't think I can manage all these by myself." She manages a smile in return, even if it's a fairly weak excuse for one. She's sitting up on her bed, propped up against a couple of pillows, and she pats the bedspread for Tara to come sit too.

Tara comes and sits beside her. She takes a cookie, though she doesn't eat it just yet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" And it's an honest question, rather than an attempt to get Buffy to open up against her will. She trusts Buffy to talk if she needs to talk.

That's the thing about Tara, Buffy feels oddly comfortable opening up to her, where for some reason she doesn't with others. Which is probably why, after a sigh, and a half-hearted bite of a cookie, she answers.

"I don't even know where to start. I've been here for over a year, Tara. I've lost... so many people." She's silent for a second, working out how to word her feelings. "It's gotten to the point where I'm scared to even get close to people, because I'm so terrified they'll leave."

She nods. "I... I can understand that. There are a lot of great people here. It's easy to get close fast and then there's no warning at all before they're gone."

"It's not just new people," she shakes her head, although truthfully one of the major people she's referring to is Kirk, and he's definitely new. Not to mention Dean and Max. "It's... it's Xander, once. And Willow. And Spike. And Giles, twice now. And you, once." She probably hasn't told Tara that yet, but there it is.

"It's my family, and every time, it just... it never stops hurting."

If Buffy lets her, Tara takes her hand, and gives it a small squeeze. "It isn't fair," she agrees, softly.

Tara hadn't known that her, or a version of her, was here before, but that's beside the point for now.

Buffy squeezes Tara's hand in return, and it's a comforting gesture for her, too. It's clear there's something else bothering her, however.

"And then there are these powers... and I didn't know where they were coming from until I woke up this morning."

"You mean the flying and the extra speed and that sort of thing?"

"Yeah." She sighs, examining the cookie in her hand more than actually eating it. To explain this though, she might have to explain something else.

"I haven't told you about the First Evil yet, have I?"

"No. Ethan - glitched Ethan," she clarifies, feeling the need to, "did a little. He said..." She thinks back, sorting this into order. "He said it sent things called 'Bringers' that killed the Watchers council and some of the potential slayers before you all could gather them to protect them. But then Willow managed to call them, all at once, so they all had Slayer powers."

Softer, and sadder, she adds, "And he said Anya died, in that fight. And that Sunnydale was destroyed. That's all I know, if it happened the same for you."

Buffy listens, making sure that Ethan got the facts right - and not just because he was glitched. She still never fully trusted him, glitch or not.

"Yeah, that's..." she swallows, her voice quiet. "That's what happened." A pause, as she collects herself again. "In the three years since then I've been gathering up all the Slayers. Dividing them into squads around the world - Scotland squad are mine. Hence the castle. It's kind of like old times, except now the battles are bigger."

She takes a breath, wondering how to explain the rest. "What I just found out is that these powers - before we didn't know where they were coming from, they just manifested magically - they're coming from other Slayers. Other dead Slayers. Every time a girl dies I get stronger. And I don't know why."

"Oh, Buffy - " Tara hugs her, if Buffy lets her. It isn't Buffy's fault, but that doesn't mean that the knowledge won't taint every new power she gets.

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034: [ location : the sky ] the blues walked in and met me

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