taxonomites | XV. [Voice]

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XV. [Voice]

Is it possible to get a divorce if one's spouse is on a different world?

I mean, I have never worried about it before. I mean, it was not like I was to get married again! But now I am realizing that technically I am a cheating buffoon.

Even if my wife is a bubble-headed blonded who collects beanie babies.

Beanie babies. How can a man try to love a woman like that for eternity? How?

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You're married?

[Congratulations, Spike thinks you're cheating scum now.]

What is worse is that she's my sister.

...you're married. To your sister.

And they say vampires are incestuous.

It wasn't my idea! It was all 'Here Herc, now that you're immortal, have a wife too!' and it was nice up until you realize that it's forever and the goddess of youth has... peculiar tastes.

So you've got some girl tied to you who's forever young and beautiful and what, kinky? Really, my heart goes out to you.

Kinky?

She loves beanie babies. That is not kinky.

Well, actually, it--

Never mind. Everyone's got their quirks. She know about your wandering ways?

Technically there have been Dateline NBCs about my, errr, wandering ways.

And what, is she all right with this?

I haven't heard her object!

You're married?

[She assumes that he's glitched, which says a lot about life in Taxon.]

To Hebe, goddess of youth.

I guess that explains the beanie babies ...

I am not really the long term relationship sort.

I could have guessed that.

Wait, what?

Well, it's hardly much of a marriage.

Who are you married to?

She is called Hebe.

Can gods even get divorced? I mean, with all the... looseness there is in the old myths I guess I kind of thought that wasn't really an option.

It is... hard. Technically.

How so?

Well, it was an arranged marriage.

By Hera.

And you know how well I get along with her.

Oh, ouch.

It was great. For the first few years.

And then, well... she is the sort of woman that you don't want to... not-grow-old-with.

Is she just a total bitch or something?

[There is a sigh]

No, she is not.

... should I just stop asking or do you want to talk about it?

Do you know those sorts of women who build shrines to a celebrity?

Yeah?

She's that sort of woman.

Oh, Herc... [ she pauses, not really sure what she can say. 'i'm so sorry' is way to trite. ]

You know what? She doesn't deserve you.

...Is this the part where I admit that she built the shrine to me?

... well, in that case, she's really freaking creepy.

And this is why I like to ignore our marriage.

That plus the fact that she is my sister.

Why did anybody think that you marrying her would be a good idea?

Because Hera hates me.

She seems to not like a whole lot of people.

She's Hera.

That's what she does.

[ she calls the goddess something in kryptonian that's really not very nice, her tone of voice a little annoyed. ]

[Ohhh, the Master can sympathize, at least a little]

Eternity, hmm?

Well, I am a demigod of Olympus. Or did you miss that memo?

I'm afraid I've only recently arrived.

Funny that even a demigod can still run into marital trouble, though, isn't it? Women.

Oh, well, it is not really Hebe's fault.

It was my stepmother's idea.

Still, they can get tiresome after a while, wives.

Couldn't you have just said 'no'?

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