taxonomites | [ Accidental Visual; Location: Forest

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[ Accidental Visual; Location: Forest | Snow Daze ]

[ooc: Continued from this log.]

The tablet comes on tumbling and dusted with white before landing at an upward angle, lodging in the snow and knocking off the loose powder to leave the screen clear. Unfortunately it makes little difference, since the only thing that's currently visible looks like some kind of blizzard. The only indication that it's something else is the laughter and yelling; that is, until Godric slows to human speed for a split second as he dodges behind a tree, and it becomes apparent that the 'blizzard' is a super-speed snowball fight. On the other side of it is Eric, who likewise dodges behind a tree before reloading. In the blink of an eye, they're back at it, snow flying everywhere while the two vampires move so quickly they can't be seen, save for the quickest of instances at the tail end of blurs.

One might make the mistake of believing that this kind of behavior is inappropriate for two such ancient vampires, but that would be presuming that the two of them hadn't spent centuries running half-naked around the snowy forests of Scandinavia like a couple of boys without parental supervision. Left to their own devices, with no concerns and no responsibilities, Godric and Eric inevitably end up doing things like this in their free time.

Suddenly, there's a break in the fight as Godric apparently decides he's had enough of fair play. Closing the distance between them, he tackles Eric to the ground and promptly shoves a pile of snow down the back of his shirt. With a yell, Eric retaliates by grabbing onto Godric before he can retreat, returns the favor, and then proceeds to tickle him. Howling with unrestrained laughter, Eric's maker begins to flail in an uncoordinated escape attempt.

His leg kicks out and breaks the trunk of the nearest tree nearly in two with a loud, echoing snap. Still laughing, he manages what can only be a swear word in Swedish as it falls with creaking, groaning protest and lands with a deafening boom.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I told you they'd like the snow. They like snow! I did a research proposal-- don't you take that tone with me. You look like giant rodents, and they curse you, don't think I don't see it. You-- is this thing on?

[ ahem. well then, that's all very improper. ]

Hello, citizens! I see you're enjoying the snow. [ that may have been a pointed comment, and there are the slightest echoes of hamster indignation in the background. ] Ahem. As I was saying: the snow is nice, isn't it? I worked very hard.

Now, I only have a few questions, won't be but a moment.

[ here is a very familiar, high-pitched voice. ]

Don't take that tone about our choice. Just because you got a week doesn't make you any better.

I wrote a research proposal! After that mess with the tunnels, they said I could talk. You're not allowed.

[ and here is a haughty sniff. ]

Besides, the citizens don't like you. I heard them say it. Damn hamsters.

Damn hamsters! Damn hamsters!

Oh, hush.

You're going to ruin my questions!

Questions! Questions!

Stop it!

Furby scaaaaaaared.

Hmph.

[ there is a noise here. it sounds like a vocalized, squeaky keysmash. ]

That wasn't our fault! And they say that because we were more memorable. Just watch, now that you've piped up they'll go on about you. Damn sharks, they'll say, alien sharks that talk we hate them. Wait and see.

[ and this is a haughty sigh. really, hamsters, they should have put you on paperwork duty in the first place. ]

Well, I certainly didn't do it. You two should have been never allowed contact with them, never. You gave us all a bad name. [ this is an offended gasp. ] They have a week! Did they give your smelly little rodents a week? You didn't even write a proposal or consider the angles, just rushed right ahead like always. And now they hate you.

They make horror movies about sharks. With blood. To scare people.

[ and here is a matchingly haughty squeak. ]

They keep us as pets.

We have a week with delightful programming for the whole family! They swim with us.

[ well, the shark never. ]

You eat your young.

You eat surfers. And baby seals. You'd probably eat the citizens if left to your baser instincts. I read about it in your report.

You read my report? [ not the point, shark. aaand back to business. ] If you truly absorbed the content you'd know the noble Carcharodon carcharias I've modeled myself after is largely misunderstood and vexingly underappreciated. [ and this but is muttered ] Unlike certain rodent pests.

[ louder now ] As I was saying, the great and noble order of Carcharodon is an impressive feat of engineering! And the surfers looked like seals.

[ none of this is the point, which is why mayhem is stepping in and sounding peeved to high heaven. ]

Sharks are also a food source for humans. Now get back to the questions or I'll start giving them nets.

[ this is one cowed shark. ]

Fine, fine.

[ quietly. ] The hamsters started it.

[The next voice sounds like it was crafted from the finest velveteen.]

Hello hamsters. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the derision you attract is likely the result of your behavior. I myself am unforgettable due to my excessive handsomeness, but also because I bring pure unbridled happiness in the form of precious gifts. Perhaps you need to change your approach.

Perhaps you need to... Put on a shirt!

And conceal my glorious physique? That would be massively counterproductive.

Godric had stilled once the voices had caught his attention, and then he'd approached the tablet cautiously.

Now he's just staring incredulously. It's possible the only thing going through his head right now is 'these are the fools who captured us.'

[ there's an awkward silence. does he expect the shark to speak first? there was nothing in the research... but never mind that, pressing on. ]

Yes. Questions. How are you enjoying your season?

"...It's enjoyable."

Look, he may usually be a little more verbose, but it just isn't working out right now. The hamsters were bad enough. He's still processing.

Points for shocking him, though.

Eric had just been sitting in the snow listening in disbelief at the aliens bickering. Were they serious? How did ridiculous beings like these capture people and plant them in a fake world? It boggles the mind.

"Är detta ett skämt?" Eric asks Godric, just loud enough to be overheard by the alien.

[google translation: Is this a joke?]

The feed switches to visual, and Godric gets a closeup of a giant shark grin. It's supposed to be ecstatic, but the effect is more... terrifying.

"I thought you might! Snow... worked." There's that notepad tone other people might be able to confirm hearing, but this time on visual it's clear the shark-- who seems to be largely suspended in a tank of invisible water rather than in a tank or merely on dry land-- has no notetaking abilities, in the physical. "So glad to hear it. Anything else?"

Paul just happens to be fiddling with his tablet-- he's still trying to get the hang of some features, and The More You Know the better, he figures-- when he apparently tunes into or onto or however the hell you tune-- into a staticky screen of white.

A blizzard, as in, a static-blizzard, and he frowns-- then realizes he's looking at a blizzard in the original sense of the word, as in snow.

His brows knit, wondering why that would be transmitting-- and then one there's a blur that slows down enough for him to recognize... Godric, the Clever Kid who'd greeted him. Only for a second, and then the kid's blurring again.

It's a snowfight, Paul processes slowly, feeling stupid, feeling like his brain is treacle. It's a snowfight at ridiculous velocities. He gets a glimpse of Godric's opponent-- nobody he knows-- but all he can do is just watch the 'fight' with his brain desperately trying to process what it is he's seeing.

Laws of physics being rendered moot.

Aside from that though.

He sees a foot slam out so fast that it's almost a blur, sees it hit a tree.

Sees the tree break.

Paul watches wordlessly, sitting alone in the shop with the sound of the clockworks ticking all around him. His eyes glued to the little screen as he runs over one question, over and over.

What have they been locked in here with?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Accidental Visual; Location: Forest | Snow Daze ]

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