[voice]-- have you had your anti-chomovirus vaccination yet, folks?

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Hell, if I’m gonna to be here a while…

All right, who here has medical experience? Surgical, nursing, pediatric? Or, access to equipment-- facilities, biofunction monitors, vaccinations. At this point, I’ll even take something as barbaric and invasive as an X-ray machine. An archaic bucket of bolts is better than guesswork.

The name’s Leonard McCoy, senior medical officer of the USS Enterprise. Not that that means a whole helluva lot to anyone listening who hasn’t heard of Starfleet-- government conspiracy my heel, kids these days-- so you’ll just have to take my word for it. I know what I’m doing, and I do it fast and right. But that takes room, and that's something I don't have.

I need free space to set up a medical wing, and people on-hand who’re willing to move along check-ups. With half of you blasted from every which brand of time and space, the number of germs in this place is enough to make the plague roll over and play dead. It’s a miracle half of you don’t have a case of Symbalene blood burn, walking around half-delusional with advanced cases of Rudellian brain fever at this point.

I’ve got minimum dosages of cordrazine, Masiform-D, neural paralyzer, sterilite, melanex, and tri-ox compound on hand, but it won’t last too long. A few other gadgets and a trauma kit, but that’s it. Slim pickings.

Comments

[Voice]

[cane-n-vicodin.livejournal.com]

Big building by the Sanctuary. Hospital.

You can't possibly think you can handle all the medical needs of everyone here.

[Voice]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Not at all, but if a civilian that's been here for a while didn't know if there was a hospital or a damn doctor anywhere around...

You're doin' it wrong.

Start small. Has anyone had at least a neural scan done around here, since arriving?

[voice]

[emergentfaculty.livejournal.com]

While I have no practical experience, I have a good deal of stored knowledge on all manner of medical topics.

[voice]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Oh, just great, an encyclopedia.

Bug I guess beggars can't be choosers. All right. I may be recruiting a few on-hand nurses, think you have enough 'stored know-how' to teach them a thing or two?

[voice]

[emergentfaculty.livejournal.com]

A program, thank you.

Yes. I could create a teaching sub-routine, but I would want your input.

[voice]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Wait, wait, wait. You're a damn computer?

Don't worry, I'm famous for giving my input, you won't be short of that.

[voice]

[emergentfaculty.livejournal.com]

Under normal circumstances, I would object to being called a 'damned computer'; in part because I am not just a computer and in part because I am not damned. However, since coming here, I am beginning to suspect that I may have bothered some greater deity.

Wonderful. I look forward to meeting you. My name is JARVIS.

[voice]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Great, a damn computer with nickname recognition preferences.

All right then, Jarvis. Stop speaking like your ears should be pointy, and maybe we can get some work done.

Can you access and sort all medical functionality and data, as it relates to the biospecies present here? A few blood samples and we should be able to analyze the main chemical makeups around here, and as an extension, the main threats. So far, everything seems human enough though, so start on that.

[voice]

[emergentfaculty.livejournal.com]

Pfft, everyone has their peccadillos, even those of us who just mimic them.

Yes, I can. However, I have no data on sentient life other than human life.

[ voice ]

[tiberiuskirk.livejournal.com]

...Bones?

[ voice ]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Jim?

You bunch of fly-boys long sure took your time.

[Or so he'd like to believe, but he knows that voice, and he knows when he hears surprise in it, rather than a cocky amount of 'See? I told you we'd find him warped into some space zoologist loony bin, Spock'.]

...Let me guess. We're gonna be here a while.

[ voice ]

[tiberiuskirk.livejournal.com]

Until I find out what the hell this place did with the rest of the ship? Looks like it.

[ voice ]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Wonderful, shore leave we didn't even have to apply for.

How long have ya been here, so far?

[ voice ]

[tiberiuskirk.livejournal.com]

This isn't shore leave, Bones. This is some lunatic's twisted version of a joke.

Almost four weeks with no answers as to where we are, how we got here, or anything else of use. Seven and I have been working on it, but we haven't had any luck so far.

Would be helpful if I had the whole ship at my disposal and not just the bridge. Your guess is as good as mine as to how that works out.

[ voice ]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Don't you think I know that, Jim? I wouldn't be setting up a damned clinic here if I trusted these people and their sense of medical know-how further than I could throw a stone.

Wait up there, Jim. Four weeks--? That's damn near impossible, unless you want to explain to me how, up until a few days ago, you were parading around on the bridge.

One still very attached to the hull of the Enterprise.

[ voice ] (1/2)

[tiberiuskirk.livejournal.com]

I've been parading around the bridge, but the former drone that makes up my crew of two, if you can even call it that, doesn't seem as amused by it as you. The bridge came with me--

[ give him a minute as he switches the feed to a holo ]

[ holo ] (2/2)

[tiberiuskirk.livejournal.com]

When the feed switches from a simple vocal transmission to a holographic one, Jim's form can clearly be seen sitting in his captain's chair, albeit out of uniform.

"See? Don't ask me how it works--I've been giving myself headaches over trying to understand how the senors work without an array to gather the information and the main computer to process it. Everything works, from environmental controls to tactical."

Jim slumps back in his chair, rubbing at his eyes. "Not surprised to hear that I was still there. This place is fucked up like that. Should've been here a few weeks ago when there was a 'goddess' running around."

[Voice]

[witbyndmeasure.livejournal.com]

Are you a Healer?

Symbalene blood burn sounds rather horrible, doesn't it? Do you contract it from Hinkypunks?

[Voice]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Not a Healer, kid, a doctor. Don't go all poetic on me.

And what? It's a highly contagious human-to-human pathogen! Hinkypunks, my foot.

[Voice]

[witbyndmeasure.livejournal.com]

It must be very nice to be a doctor. I've never met one before.

Oh, really? Daddy wrote an article about it a few months ago, and I'm sure he mentioned Hinkypunks.

[Voice]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Never met a-- ...hell, this place.

How old are you kid, and you've never seen a doctor?

And your father should get his information straight before publishing it.

[Voice]

[witbyndmeasure.livejournal.com]

I'm 17. We don't really use doctors in my world, and I've always been very healthy. I take two drops of gurdyroot essence every morning.

He does. He's the editor of a very well respected magazine.

[Voice]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Gurdyroot... right.

I'll agree to disagree with you on a number of topics, let's leave it at that, kid. Glad you keep yourself healthy though. Not enough of that goes on in young people.

[ VOICE; PRIVATE ]

[uetoresu.livejournal.com]

I think any medication or equipment you need you can get from a hatch. That's where I've been getting mine from.

I'd love to help any way I can. I've already been reading some books on nursing, and my head's a fortress. Once something goes in, it doesn't come out.

[ VOICE; PRIVATE ]

[gotmybones.livejournal.com]

Gonna have to forgive me if I have trouble trusting that thing, since the supplies probably come from them. But, can't argue with good materials. I'll give it a try.

I'm counting on that, Charlie. If you need any practical help, my schedule is suddenly a lot less busy then it was on board Enterprise.