taxonomites | 10 [Location: Castle Summers / visual] Everything will be okay

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10 [Location: Castle Summers / visual] Everything will be okay

It's taken Willow a really, really long time to work up the courage to make this broadcast, and even when she convinces herself she can't wait any longer, she still has to have some measure of comfort. Colette, her calico kitten, is tucked in her lap, purring contentedly as Willow leans back against the back of the chair she's sitting in. She's in her bedroom, the one she shares with Tara, and she looks nervous as she flicks on the feed.

"Uh, hi, Taxon!" She's using a falsely bright tone at the moment, because it's easier than acknowledging the fear and worry she's trying to keep at bay. Come on, Willow. You can do this.

"I-I know most of you probably know me by now, but, uh, if you don't, my name's Willow and I've been here for a couple of months now."

Pause. Breathe. Stroke the cat for comfort.

"What I really wanted to talk about is... my glitch a couple of months ago. Back in February. I know it's been a really long time and words aren't gonna make up for everything, but... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

Well, yes, actually she had, but that was her glitched self, so that doesn't count at all.

"I'm a witch and I have some really powerful magic. I just... I'm learning how to control it so that doesn't happen again. My magic's just a part of me and I-I'm... sorry any of that happened."

Before she can beat herself up any more, she switches the feed off and waits to see how the rest of Taxon responds to her apology. Castle Summers residents can find her in her room. She'll be happy for visitors.

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"Oh, right here's fine." Willow cleared off a table and offered the space to DG for the pie. Of course that meant she now had to scoop up a kitten and make sure said kitten didn't get into the pie, but that was acceptable.

"Apple pie is a good pie."

Willow offered a smile as she held Colette close to her chest, taking in what DG was saying. What she'd done hadn't felt brave. It had felt necessary, something she had to do to make sure no one would hate her. Necessary, obligatory, needed... Not brave.

"I-I just... I thought I needed to, y'know? After what I did, everyone has a right to know what happened and why. A-and that I'm trying to fix it."

"I know," she said, "I did the same after my glitch. No one who knows what this city is like will blame you for what happened."

She put the pie down in the spot that Willow had cleared, then turned back to face her.

"Getting them to forgive you isn't the hard part. The hard part is forgiving yourself, isn't it?"

Willow could think of several people who would hold that grudge against her for a long time, but it was DG's next words that brought her eyes to the floor. Yeah... the hardest part was forgiving herself. She still hadn't done it.

"If I hadn't been such a snob about my magic back then... maybe it wouldn't have mattered so much... maybe I wouldn't have done any of this..."

She paused as she tried to fight back the tears again. "DG... I hurt Tara." The one person in the world she'd never want to hurt in any way and she'd done so much to hurt her. The guilt was nearly killing Willow.

"She knows this city. She knows it wasn't you."

DG started forward as the tears fell, grabbing Willow's arm to give it a comforting squeeze. Although she was aware that there were no words that could make the situation better, she was here and nothing would stop her from trying.

"When I was glitched, I came very close to killing Glitch," she added, softly. A confession, of sorts.

Willow's eyes remained on the floor until she felt DG's comforting squeeze. That brought her gaze back up and she offered a very small grateful smile. It helped to have someone there with her, someone who knew Tara.

The smile slid off Willow's face at the confession, but it turned sympathetic and worried all the same. She knew DG had been there a lot longer than she and Tara had, so she couldn't help wondering what had caused that.

"What happened?" she asked hesitantly. "I mean, i-if you want to talk about it."

She was there and, not only that, she understood. She'd been in a startlingly similar situation only a few months before - which probably said a lot about the hamster's sense of humour - and had come frighteningly close to killing the one she loved and hurting her closest friends.

"I was possessed by an evil witch from my world," she explained. There was more to it than that - like the fact that, in her world, the witch had actually possessed her sister because of a mistake that DG had made - but that was the most important part. "She wanted to take over the city and Glitch got in the way. But it wasn't me. My body, maybe, but not me. Just like it was with you."

Willow listened closely, her expression turning sympathetic. How horrible that one of them went through something like this, but worse that they both had.

"Yeah..." she agreed softly. "That magic's still a part of me, though. It's all dark and different, but it's still me. I still have to control it, learn to live with it. I don't want that to happen again."

And it might be the same for DG in a way. They both had magic, albeit different kinds, but they both had to learn to deal with it in a positive way.

"I hate the hamsters," Willow growled, voicing her thoughts on all of this mess. "I'm tired of them messing with us."

It had been her magic that the witch had used, just as she had used Azkadellia's magic during her sister's imprisonment in the O.Z.

"I wish I could promise it won't happen again," she said, softly, "But we don't know what the hamsters are going to do. But I know you can control it, Willow. I know you can. If it does happen again, it'll be because of them, not because of you."

Willow nods and glances down again. "I know. At least I can try to keep myself together more than I did before. I don't want that to happen again... not if I can stop it."

She looks back up and offers a very small smile. No matter what happens, she's very grateful that DG is here... Their friendship means a lot to her.

"A-and thanks... for coming over when everything's been... making with the weird lately."

"You're welcome. Thanks for letting me come." She paused, giving Willow a lopsided grin. "I'd have come even if you hadn't, but having permission made it easier."

That was what friends were for. They were there, even when they weren't wanted and even when it wasn't easy.

"Try not to spend too long thinking about something that might not happen. The hamsters give us enough to worry about without us giving them ideas."

Willow had figured that was what would've happened and she returned the lopsided grin. "It's just a little easier when you're invited in instead of... y'know... being the concerned friend who barges in. Not that... that's a bad thing!"

The last thing she wanted was for DG to think she minded.

"Yeah... I know." She took a deep breath and let it out, shooting DG a teasing grin. "Speaking of giving the hamsters ideas, maybe we should start the apple pie before they decide to glitch the food again."

"I've done that," confessed DG with a sheepish smile. At least Willow was smiling again. That was all that she'd really wanted. "And that would be a shame. It's the best apple pie in Kansas. Probably in Taxon, too."

One of these days, Willow would seriously have to tell DG just how much the other woman was coming to mean to her, and just how much this was helping her deal with the pain. The redhead hopped off her bed and set about grabbing spare plates, forks, and napkins so they could start in on the pie.

"I wouldn't put it past them to do something like that," she admits, carving out a piece and digging in. "Mmmm this is really good. Just what the doctor ordered."

"I didn't like it much when I was in Kansas," she admitted, helping herself to a piece, "Having to serve it for a living takes the fun out of eating it. I really wasn't cut out to be a waitress."

Willow made a face at that. "I-if the waitressing jobs in Kansas are anything like the ones in Sunnydale, then I wasn't cut out to be a waitress, either. I-I like it better when you can eat it yourself instead of serve it to everyone else."

"You were a waitress too?" asked DG in surprise. She was pleased to discover that she wasn't the only one who'd fallen into that role. (Or who'd worked hard to escape from it afterwards.)

"Um kind of? Not for long a-and Buffy did it more than I did."

Sort of. It was a whole long complicated mess.

"Mostly you just hear the stories. Bad tips, bad people, bad everything."

"Bad bosses who will yell at you if you're a second late to clock in," she continued, "Bad customers who'll turn up for coffee just to remind that they're going to give you a ticket. I've got plenty of stories. None of them are that exciting."

Everything of note in her life had happened in the O.Z.

Willow winced at that. "And I thought it was bad dealing with Anya demanding money all the time o-or Giles selling really powerful magical items to gods trapped in human bodies."

...What, it had happened!

DG, on the other hard, stared at Willow in wide eyed surprise when her friend detailed her own idea of an average day at work. She believed her, of course, but that didn't mean that she'd heard anything like that before.

"I think you win, Willow."

Willow freezes, staring apologetically for a second. "I wasn't trying to win anything! Honest!" It had just... kind of come out.

"It was a joke, Willow," said DG, shaking her head in amusement. "Gods trapped in human bodies? I think I'd take the speeding tickets."

"Oh... W-well, I don't really wanna win something like that anyway." She blushed a little bit, ducking her head. It wasn't that she couldn't take a joke - Xander had cracked them all the time - but she'd just thought it wasn't something that anyone would want to top.

"Yeah, so would I. Glory was... special. But she's gone now and that's what's important." She said it with a decisive nod. Glory was dead and Buffy was alive. Those were the most important things to her at that point. Well, second to Tara's sanity being returned.

DG didn't need to ask any more questions about Glory to know that Willow viewed her in the same way that she viewed the witch that had once lived inside her sister. She wasn't special, she was dangerous. Deadly, even. It was easier to focus on the fact that she'd finally been defeated than the rest of what she'd done.

"I understand."

And she did.

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10 [Location: Castle Summers / visual] Everything will be okay

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