taxonomites | [Visual] Backdated to the start of Fairy Tale Glitch

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[Visual] Backdated to the start of Fairy Tale Glitch

Paul Smecker is sitting on the steps of a delightfully fairy-tale castle, and despite the Disneyesque sort of theme behind him, flapping pennants and pastel turrets, he is not the happiest boy on earth.

"So," he says to his tablet, "to those who are new meat, this is a glitch. Citywide, obviously, and pretty goddamn ridiculous if you ask me. Welcome to our captors' sense of humor.

"These usually wear themselves out in a week or two. If you're looking for some conversation that doesn't have thees or thous in it, I'm still myself.

"Or go get your joust on. I don't fucking know."

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From behind him - nevermind if there was no one there before, the fae do as they please - came a distinctive chuckle, and perched a few steps above Paul was...something that passed for a man. The pointed toes of his shoes curled slightly upward, his leather trousers were aged but certainly serviceable, his shirt a patchwork of fine fabrics in many colors and patterns, and his coat retained some of its finery. Still, the long, pale face with its hawk-nose and warm brown eyes should be familiar, as should the wild curls sticking out from under--

Ah, yes, there's a very particular grey fedora with a braided band 'pon the pixie's head. How curious.

"I've not heard such language in dog's years," the trickster who still called himself Glitch declared. "What refreshing boldness, sir! I'm not sure whether to dub you uncaring prince or uncouth pauper, as either suits."

Paul nearly gave himself whiplash spinning around to look at the voice that imposes itself on his sullen musings.

"Go with the pauper," he mutters, and then squints. Two things: one, that looks a lot the fuck like Glitch-- and two, that looks a lot the fuck like Wyatt's hat.

He decides he doesn't want to goddamn know.

Paul lights a cigarette. "Not in the mood to be part of whatever story you're stuck in, Glitch. Prithee m'lord to go the hell away."

Paupers were by far more interesting anyway, and this one had just said something guaranteed to capture the sorcerer's attention for quite some time.

"And why should I follow the directive of one so sullen?" the pixie asked and managed to gracefully tumble himself down to the same step as Paul, keeping a distance which was both safe and polite.

"Especially one who knows my false name when I do not recognize him. Are you an emissary of the fae?"

Paul just starts laughing at that one, a half-cough on his cigarette's smoke. He waves it away with one hand then grins humorlessly up at the Glitch-who-isn't-Glitch.

"I have definitely been called a fairy a time or two. Does that count?

"As for knowing me, you could say we met in a past life."

And Glitch laughs right back, a short, throaty giggle reminiscent of the time before he got his brain back. "Certainly!" he replied and bobbed his head. "As such I'll call you cousin, and say that I'm glad to...meet you once more."

The pixie understood that this was a strange land full of strange events and stranger people, and that paths tended to cross for a reason. He tipped the hat back a bit to better study his new relation, the end of his silver scar peeking out at the hairline.

"You mentioned captors, and a city, and something else which was a touch confusing. What do you believe will happen in a week's time?"

The sometime-FBI agent sprawls on the steps, staring up at the faux sky. "Mm. Yes. Pleasure to remake your acquaintance or some shit."

Dammit, that hat is Wyatt's. The scar is pure Glitch, except not.

"Oh, Jesus, goddamned if I know. Maybe they'll have us polka. Maybe they'll have us star in a musical. A big flaming fucking number with glitter. At least I have the legs for that."

There was a flurry of activity - hoof beats and raised voices and boisterous laughter - as DG and the rest of her hunt rode into view, coming to a stop in front of Paul and the castle.

"The kingdom of Taxonia is not in danger while the Wild Hunt rides," she pointed out, "Who holds you captive?"

He didn't look like a prisoner, but, in a city such as this, appearances could be deceptive.

Oh, sweet Jesus Christ on a pogo stick.

Paul takes a long, reflective drag on his cigarette as he takes in the... horses. Real, goddamn hooves-and-shit horses. City-boy does not want.

Is that... DG? He squints up at her, breathes a plume of smoke at one of the horses, although not hers, to see if it reacts.

"Invisible men in the sky who have a penchant for uninvited remodeling. What are you hunting, then?"

The horses were well trained. More than that, they were ethereal creatures from a world beyond the human realm. It was the rider of the horse that responded to the smoke, pulling on the reigns to move his steed backwards and glaring at Paul. The Wild Hunt was proud and powerful, unaccustomed to such disrespect. DG, however, took it in her stride.

"Anyone who threatens this kingdom," she answered, "Including, if necessary, invisible men in the sky."

The original party pooper, Paul doesn't really want to play along with it even though it's clearly a glitch and it's not DG's fault she thinks she's... whatever it is. Queen of Fairyland? Who knows. He's rusty on his mythologies anyway.

"Oh chrissake, you don't even remember it's their 'kingdom', do you," he sighs. He absently flips off the ethereal rider who is glaring at him.

"Look, DG, it's a... figure of speech."

Princess and guardian of the fairy kingdom, actually. The city had twisted the truth just far enough to make it fantastical.

"This kingdom belongs to the people of Taxonia," she said with a frown, "They have no king or queen."

She held up a hand, wordlessly ordering the rider to keep back.

"What is your name? You know mine, but I don’t remember meeting.”

"Maybe no king or queen but we sure have rulers," Paul says with a humorless grin.

"Paul. Paul Smecker. You're under a spell to screw with your memories," he says, dully. He doesn't expect her to believe him. But he's hearing himself say the words anyway, got to try, who knows.

"I am under no enchantment!" exclaimed DG, the proud warrior bristling at the implication that someone would be able to enchant her. (Her fellow warriors, keeping their distance at their leader's request, scoffed - quietly, in most cases, but one or two spoke louder than the rest - at the idea themselves.) "Perhaps you are the one affected by a spell. You are certainly ... strange, Paul Smecker."

There's some button pushing, screen poking, and Smecker gets audio first.

"I was having terrible flashbacks to my old job, so I guess I'm glad that maybe you're getting to share my pain."

The picture flickers in and settles on Buffy, looking much less medieval herself in jeans and a t-shirt. She frowns at the sight of the castle behind him.

"Did they transport you to Cinderella's castle?"

"Oh-- hi. Yes, you looked like you'd popped here straight from Ren Faires Anonymous or something equally godawful."

He cranes his head back, takes in the turreted building which is a pretty pink behind him.

"This used to be my home, such as it here in the city. I have absolutely nothing to wear that goes with this shade of blushing virgin, though. You'd think they could have given me raging-slut-fuschia. If I see Cinderella, I'm suckerpunching the bitch."

Paul takes a drag on his cigarette, closes his eyes to savor the nicotine.

"I'd ask how you're settling in, but it's such a fucking stupid question here."

"I'm in a freaking castle. That's how I'm settling in." It's not clear as to whether that's a good thing or not as Buffy settles back.

"Want to compare castle notes? Mine's more normal colored."

Paul laughs, short and terse but appreciative, at her comeback.

"Does yours have siege weaponry? That'd be fun. Ballista the shit out of the first knight errant to come calling.

"....look, I know it's fuck-all weird. My first Christmas here I ended up kissing some guy I didn't even know. Mistletoe-- watch out for that on doorways, unless you want to French a random asshole.

"The good news, such as it is, is that they'll get bored of us this too and revert us to... what passes for normal here."

"I haven't seen any, but maybe there's some kind of button I gotta press to make them magically come out of the walls."

A snort and Buffy leans in to peer at the screen a little more closely, possibly to check out details of what's going on behind him.

"I'll keep an eye out for random magical greenery, then. I only kiss the jerks that I already know."

"I wouldn't be surprised."

Behind Agent Smecker there's stairs leading to... yes, a castle, all pennants and pink stone and ornate balustrades. It does not look very defensible.

He nods at her words. "Yeah, tends to be my policy too. You got any questions, or just taking it as it comes right now?"

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[Visual] Backdated to the start of Fairy Tale Glitch

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