02 [location: the dodgy jammer] Heigh-Ho!

[untoldtale]

Carved into the bar top is a small cartoon, though somewhat altered from the classic. The nose is pointy, and there's a cigarette held between two of the fingers. Carved next to it is the phrase Fitz was here.

Emma taps it idly, then finds herself tapping it in time "Tic Toc" since the Extra bachelorette party is playing it for the eighth time. She groans and reaches for her glass, only to discover it empty...just like her BankBuddy balance will be if she orders another one. For the past week she's lived on instant ramen noodles and corn flakes, and now she's waiting for midnight when her credits will re-up. The plan had been to spend the evening in quiet melancholy, drowning her helpless sorrows with the last of her funds: not the first time she's done so, unlikely to be the last, but--

"The party don't start 'til I walk in! Woooo!"

Screw it. "One more, please," she says and slides her glass to the bartender, who cheerfully agrees and starts to pour another beer. Eighty percent foam. Just like that last two. "No, wait, that's-- let me do it!" Emma gets up and moves behind the bar, shoving the Extra out of the way and dumping the foam in the sink. "You need to angle the glass, look."

She pours competently and sets her glass on top of the cartoon, and the balance indicator on her bracelet goes to zero with a sad beep. Great. As she moves away from the tap another Extra two stools down holds up their glass, asking for a real refill. Emma hesitates for a moment but does so, handing the drink over with a nod.

"Thanks, love," the lady says, smiling, and taps the bar. There's a ding from Emma's bracelet and she looks at it with a frown. Bal. 2, tip.

She only has a moment to boggle at this when-- "Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like P. Diddy"

"Oh hell no," she says, steps back around the bar and marches straight to the jukebox. She rips the plug from the wall and waves it at the feather boa-wearing, spray tanned group. "That's it, OUT! Find yourselves a club and a greasy Chip 'n Dale's guy to grind on, party's over."

The women glare but comply and she plugs the jukebox back in. As it resets she heads back to the bar where the poor bartender is getting yelled at and another Extra is asking her to pour their drink and before she knows it she's pulling beers and pouring whiskey.

Slowly, the credits roll in. Looks like someone's accidentally gotten themself a job.

Comments

[kings_fool]

Some people have magic swords, some people have superpowers, some people have Spidey-Sense.

And some people can find any bar within a one-mile radius.

Jeremy wanders in shivering a little; even with his new clothes he's still slightly underdressed for Taxon's current weather. But inside is out of the wind, and out of the snow, and best of all there's the promise of booze in those bottles on the wall. Fantastic.

He brightens visibly and unwrenches his hands from his hoodie's pockets as he makes his way to the bar and takes a seat, raising a hand automatically to catch the blond woman's eye.

He remembers a little late that she's probably one of the... other people, the crowd, so maybe he didn't need to do that and maybe the automatic 'heyyyyy baby' smile on his face is totally pointless--

--except no, she's got one of the funky watches, so hey! His smile brightens from automatic dude-bro leer to something brighter and less skeevy.

"Oh hey! You're a person!"

Jeremy Fischer: making intelligent statements since never.

[untoldtale]

Emma's beginning to catch on to what's happening here, and while she's sort of very pissed off that she's being shanghaied into this career...it's a good way to work off frustration. She's had limited experience tending bar, but the rhythm come back a bit.

As do the alarm bells at Shaggy Hoodie Guy and that smile she knows a little too well. Like Jeremy shes thinking Extra but then he gives her that greeting and she's torn between an eyeroll and a grin of her own.

"Sure am," she replies and leans on the bar across from him. Her hair's pulled back in a sloppy ponytail, she's wearing a dark blue t-shirt, and shes not quite perfected the single-brow arch but she's making an effort. "Welcome to the...whatever this place is called. Beer or whisky?"

[kings_fool]

"To the bar," Jeremy suggests, because that's good enough for him. "--are those my only options?"

Not that he's actually objecting to those choices, even if he does have a particular perverse fondness for all the Tourist Drinks-- the yard-long daiquiris and the neon-orange margaritas and the neon-blue Blue Hawaiians over at the Tropicana--

--but he has nothing against beer, nope.

"Beer's fine," he says affably without really waiting for an answer, and crosses his arms on the bartop, peering at her from under the shaggy fringe of his hair. "I think the sign outside said Dodgy Jammer."

[untoldtale]

Yeah, sure, that works. A dive's a dive, it shouldn't aspire to anything more.

"...my skills are kinda limited," she replies. She had tended bar for a couple months before, a rough little place in Memphis where the most complicated order was a Jack and Coke. "Some girl tried ordering a sloe gin fuzz earlier, I gave her a gin and tonic and told her to take it or leave it."

She pours him a beer, snags a napkin to use as a coaster, and set the drink on it. "All right then, welcome to the..Dodgy Jammer. The hell is that supposed to mean?"

[kings_fool]

Jeremy props his chin up on his hands. "Gin, sloe gin, lemon juice, simple syrup, soda water."

He offers a sheepish smile after that. "--tended bar in LA for two months once. But really, I'm good with beer." He takes his glass with a smile of thanks, then squints at the question.

"Dodgy.... that's like, suspicious, right?"

[untoldtale]

Here have an impressed little crooked smile. "Careful, they'll hire you too."

And another beer is poured for herself. Yeah it'll take some off her bracelet balance but she feels she's entitled.

"I think so? It sounds like it's trying really hard to be British." Yeah, some nothing douchebag thought they were being so very clever and witty and instead of naming it something sensible like The Crop And Harlot came up with this silly, childish play on a biscuit instead. Fucking Fitz, seriously. "So yeah. Hi, I'm Emma and I guess I work here."

She clinks her glass against his and takes a nice, deep pull.

[kings_fool]

"That's cool, I'm pretty good at losing jobs."

Jeremy takes a loooong swallow from his beer as he listens to Emma opine on the bar name.

"Hi, Emma," he offers with a wan smile, tinking glasses back in time-honored bar etiquette. "Jeremy. Jeremy Fischer. If you work in my hallucination, does that kinda mean I'm your boss?"

[untoldtale]

"Hello, Jeremy. Who says it's your hallucination?" She props her chin on her hand and raises her eyebrows. "I got here before you, so you might be mine."

Or another part of a new curse that Regina's slowly populating. It makes as much sense as anything: hastily assembled with a less effective memory wipe - would explain the guys who claim they're from a fantasy world. Replce the cute little town with a kooky city, yeah, it can work.

"Either way: no, you're not the boss of me."

[kings_fool]

"Who? The philosophy of solipsism," Jeremy says wryly. He takes a swig from his glass.

"Aw, well. That's okay. I've never been a boss of anyone else before, I don't suppose there's any reason I should start now."