1 - arrival [holo]

[myveryownriot.livejournal.com]

"'Carry this heavy-ass box, Jayne, go walk a gorram mile an' fetch us our supplies we ain't got sense enough to be rememberin' t' pack, Jayne, don't be shootin' or fightin' or havin' no damn fun first chance we got to put our feet on somethin' ain't movin', Jayne..."

Sun at his back and the dark of Serenity's cargo bay in front of him mean Jayne can't much see where it is he's walking. Which is fine and all, he's done it a million times before (a million's probably too many, but he's not gonna try and figure it out, he's not got leanings in a mathematical direction). Even so, he maybe should've been clued that something's not right by the change in how his boots sound on the metal floor, but it's the wall all of a sudden being where a wall has no business that does the job.

"Ta ma de! What ruttin' son of a whore put this-"

Well hell, even with his eyes sun-befuddled Jayne can tell that whatever this place is, it being Serenity can be crossed off the list straight off. He lets Vera drop from where he'd been carrying her propped over his shoulder into his hands, and slowly turns in a circle. "Mal? Zoe? Ha ha, let's all play a big joke on the dumb guy. I ain't laughin', so git your bu lang bu you asses out here!"

His words don't echo about the way they ought, and it's too quite. Too clean. The place looks Alliance, and though technically speaking he's not dead set against Alliance, in general he likes to avoid getting locked up in silent glowy places that weren't there last he checked. No answering cussing or laughter means he's alone here, though, and ain't that just the shiny ribbon to wrap up his shit day?

Comments

[voice]

[adpartesdolent.livejournal.com]

[Of all the people Simon hoped never to see in Taxon, Jayne is not number one on the list. He is, however, near enough to the top that when Simon's tablet brings up the news of his arrival, he has to take a minute to facepalm and go 8| some more.]

It's not a joke, Jayne. [Barely audible, here:] Unfortunately.

[holo]

[myveryownriot.livejournal.com]

Oh yay. Jayne can't hardly contain his excitement that it's Simon answering his demand for attention.

"Yeah well I don't rightly remember hittin' my head so why'nt you explain what it is?"

[voice]

[adpartesdolent.livejournal.com]

[Facepalming at the tiny Jayne now glaring up at him from his tablet, Simon purposefully leaves his own on voice. The better to indulge in slightly immature grimacing.]

Patient and polite as ever, Jayne.

[voice]

[biverbam.livejournal.com]

[Oh, Jayne. You are about to get trolled so hard. This is what happens when you don't show up for a while and the little crazy girl makes little crazy friends.

Cue spooky noises, and River doing her best to put on deep and mysterious to her own voice when she speaks. Like Batman, only she's even worse at it.]

JAYNE COBB!

[voice]

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

[Dawn adds her voice to the troll chorus, trying to stifle her giggles.]

The daaaaaaaaaaaay of judgment is nigh...

[holo]

[myveryownriot.livejournal.com]

If the effect intended was to make Jayne's eyes get big and his head to whip around like he's expecting to see something nightmarish behind him, then it's a success.

"Uh...no? I mean no! Nope, no Jayne Cobb 'round these parts! In...visible voice..."

[holo]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

Well now, this is an interesting development. After months trapped on this rock, finally Mal has got pretty much all of his crew, and Jayne is like the... large, hairy and infinitely tactless cherry on the metaphorical cake. This is truly a happy occasion-- and one which calls for some righteous pranking... obviously.

"Jayne, you're awake! Welcome back. Doctors say the operation to take care of your little problem was a complete success."

[holo]

[myveryownriot.livejournal.com]

Generally speaking, Jayne wouldn't admit to feeling particularly glad to seeing any of the crew, but he's right pleased to see Mal.

"You're lookin' kinda teeny and see-through... Oh yeah, 'cause this is one'a them holographical thingies."

Wait for it.

"...Problem?" That's not a squeak in his voice, honest.

[holo]

[skyfrome.livejournal.com]

Mal smoothly ignores the (admittedly) hilarious stating of the obvious, and skips right to the part that'll make Jayne's voice even more squeaky, fighting to keep a straight face.

"Yup, the advanced swamp fever. I'm told you might experience some swelling, followed by... how did he describe it? Oh yeah, 'shrinkage', but it ain't serious. You're lucky to still be breathin'."

[voice]

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

Jayne? Your name is Jayne. Really?

[Okay so maybe Dean has been having fun listening to everyone else troll the hell out of Jayne, and wants a turn.]

[holo]

[myveryownriot.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well, 'least I ain't invisible!"

Which no, sure isn't much of an insult to someone who isn't invisible.

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

At least I'm not stupid, Strawberry Shortcake. [Dean is SO amused.]

[visual]

[suckmychest.livejournal.com]

Eric is rolling his eyes. Obviously the grade of humans being brought in is lowering rather quickly.

"Pulling a gun on an empty room. Bright boy." Seriously, the amount of sarcasm in there should be illegal.

[holo]

[myveryownriot.livejournal.com]

"Sure are a whole lotta people talkin' in this here empty room." So you see, there could be people he can't see, and then it makes sense for him to pull a gun. In Jayne World anyway.

[visual]

[suckmychest.livejournal.com]

Seems Eric really hit the nail on the head with the 'bright boy' assessment. "Yes, that's it. We're all in here watching you. It's certainly fine entertainment thus far."

[voice]

[fordification.livejournal.com]

Jayne... you've been a very naughty boy.

[holo]

[myveryownriot.livejournal.com]

Part of Jayne kind of wants to cry at this point. The part that he keeps hidden way down underneath the parts that like shooting people and sexing people and being a big tough guy.

It's a very tiny part.

"I AIN'T DEAD YET!"

[fordification.livejournal.com]

[Ethan, who is about as far from being a soothing and gentle person as one can get, puts on a soothing and gentle voice to aid in his bored asshattery.]

Ahh. Denial. [tsk.] The first stage, it's a normal reaction.

[visual]

[awfulfirstname.livejournal.com]

Awww, Tonks feels bad for poor Jayne. Even if she is totally laughing on the inside. Instead of trolling him (since everyone else has that covered) she clicks on the visual setting, smiling reassuringly.

"Hi, Jayne, was it? Y'alright? Can I help?"

[holo]

[myveryownriot.livejournal.com]

At least by this point he's figured out people can see and hear him, so it's not completely freaky for strangers to just know his name straight. Still weird, but not freaky.

Also hey, there's someone of the female persuasion and she's not making ghost noises at him!

"Other'n bein' stuck in a gorram cell! Feel like some kinda sideshow."

[awfulfirstname.livejournal.com]

Jayne, you're making it hard for Tonks to keep that smile on her face, especially after listening to everybody mess with him. But she's going to be nice. She can band together with Dawn and River later.

"If you take the tablet-- y'know, the thing my voice's coming from-- the door should open. You can get out that way!"

[visual]

[stacked]

Because Jayne's day has been full of trolls, he... gets another. But at least this one is in skintight jeans and leather and will not be pranking him today.

"Amp it down, new kid. You're fine, but the yelling's wicked annoying."

[holo]

[myveryownriot.livejournal.com]

Now that's the kind of troll Jayne likes to see.

"I ain't yellin'!" Okay, that was yelling. He quiets his voice. "Well I got a right to yell, anyhow. An' I ain't a kid, neither."

[holo]

[lilgreasemonkey.livejournal.com]

Kaylee'd know that voice anywhere. And right now her happiness over having one more bit of the crew in Taxon outweighs any annoyance that the one to pop up in the white room is Jayne. Jayne's in town!

"Heya Jayne!"

Have a little holo!Kaylee beaming at you Jayne with enough wattage behind that cheery smile to power all of Taxon. It's enough to make a person either smile too or wish they had some duct tape.

Oh an' ain't no one knows who put that room there, or the rest of Taxon. Some say aliens." She laughs a little bit. "Like somethin' straight outta science-fiction!"

[Voice]

[semimuscular.livejournal.com]

[As tempting as the idea of trolling Jayne is, Wash decides that it isn't a good idea when they're going to have to live on the same space ship.

Well, that and nothing he could do could beat River's earlier performance. Not that Mal didn't give it a very good go.]

You really should watch your language, you know. This is supposed to be your first impression.