taxonomites | 009: [Location: Sunnydale Beach] We are all just trying to be holy

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009: [Location: Sunnydale Beach] We are all just trying to be holy

Though recent events weren't exactly unusual for Tara, given what happened on a regular basis in Sunnydale, they were unusual for this place. She remembered when she'd first come here--months, or was it years ago?--and there had seemed to be so few people, a relative calm and peace, despite the strangeness of the place itself. But now there were people everywhere, some people who seemed to be here for no purpose other than to blend in and keep to themselves.

Most of the time, she preferred being with the Scooby gang, or some of the other friends she'd made while here, but it was nice occasionally to go exploring. The exploring didn't happen so frequently anymore, given the influx of people, some of them not so friendly, but today seemed to demand it. The change in weather didn't exactly make for an ideal day at the beach, Tara decided that as long as it didn't rain, she could just bundle up enough that an hour out there by herself wouldn't be too bad. In fact, the crisp air was refreshing, provided one wasn't out in it for hours on end.

So far, the skies had been cloudy and grey, but the rain had held off. Tara buttoned her oversized cashmere sweater to trap in what little warmth there was, and turned her attention back to the book she was reading. Another half hour here and she'd wander back home, stopping for a cup of hot cocoa on her way.

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[Willow was fresh out of the shower, and in the middle of getting dressed when she decided to text Tara. It'd been too long since they'd properly been together. The drama surrounding Xander had caused Willow to withdraw. And she felt terrible about that.]

[Tara's smile was fond, if not a little wan, when she saw the text pop up on her tablet. But the thought of seeing Willow soon made her happy.]

Edited 2009-11-12 06:11 (UTC)

[It made Willow feel terrible to offer, she'd been a bad girlfriend the past couple weeks.]

[Tara doesn't exactly feel like she's been much of a better girlfriend lately.]

[Willow began move with a purpose, getting herself a sweater duster and hatched two thermoses, one with marshmallows, one without then was out the door and headed for the nearest tram.]

[Tara stood up, folding up the blanket she'd been sitting on stuffing it into the bag slung over her shoulder. She brushed off her book and stuffed it in her bag as well, anxiously awaiting Willow's arrival.]

Willow jogged the five minute walk from the station to the beach, pausing to look up and down the stretch of sand for that familiar head of blonde hair. She found it, about twenty feet away, and started over towards her. "Tara!" Willow said, raising her voice to alert the woman of her arrival.

The artificially salty wind tossed Willow's hair as she approached, a shy smile on her face. "Hey."

A similarly shy smile appeared on Tara's face when she heard Willow's voice, waving at the redhead as she approached.

"Hey, you," Tara spoke, tying her scarf more tightly so it didn't keep hitting her in the face as the wind started to pick up. "It's good to see you."

I missed you, was the unspoken addition to that sentence.

Willow was soon standing a couple feet away from Tara, that small smile still on her face. "It's good to see you, too." Willow said softly.

I missed you so bad, was the look that Willow was giving her and she gave a bright smile, hefting the thermoses. "I got with marshmallows and without," Willow shook one then the other.

She frowned, looking from one canister to the other. "I'm just...not sure which one's which."

Tara looked between the thermoses before a smirk appeared at the corner of her mouth. "Well, we'll just...experiment. I'm not afraid of your germs."

After she'd said it, Tara moved closer to Willow, reaching out tentatively to brush at the woman's cheek with the tips of her fingers. She hesitated another moment before leaning forward to press a kiss to the corner of Willow's mouth.

"You better not be, or you'd have some explaining to do for that first night you were here," Willow couldn't help but grin at the memory of Tara's arrival.

The smile grew on Willow's face as Tara came closer. Her eyes slipped shut a fraction and her heartbeat picked up in her chest. Tara's lips touched Willow's and everything was right with the world. At least in this moment. Willow tilted her head slightly, deepening the contact.

Tara couldn't help the blush that appeared on her face at the mention of her first night here. That was a memory she wasn't about to forget, not just because of the fondness it evoked in her, but due in part to how very odd everything was that first day here.

Happily, Tara applied a bit more pressure, pressing her lips firmly against Willow's. This was a place she always loved to be: close to her girl.

Finally, her free hand came up to brush at a few strands of Willow's fiery red hair, and she pulled away gently, a tender smile on her face.

"Should we...should we try the hot cocoa?"

Willow noticed the additional color to Tara's already pink cheeks at the mention of their first night together here in Taxon. She always prided herself in making Tara blush.

Willow thoroughly enjoyed the kiss, sucking tenderly at her bottom lip for a moment, reluctant to break it.

Willow swallowed hard, her own cheeks beginning to turn and she nodded. "Yeah. Figure out which one's which," Willow nodded sheepishly.

"Right. It's...i-important," Tara added, though she her voice didn't have much conviction behind it. She wanted the hot cocoa, of course (especially because she was cold, despite the sweater and scarf), but she wanted Willow more. However, dwelling on those thoughts wouldn't get her anywhere right now. That would come later.

Tara reached for one of the thermoses, sniffing the fragrant steam as it wafted out of the opening. Carefully, she took a sip.

"It's...hard to tell," she decided.

Willow had the same exact thoughts whizzing through her mind. Hot chocolate was all well and good, but Tara tasted better than any hot chocolate in the history of the world.

Willow unscrewed the lid on the second thermos, sniffing it a couple times before taking a drink. Tilting her head to the side, she swished the liquid around in her mouth for a moment before swallowing.

"Hmm. Lemme try the other one?" Willow asked, extending her thermos towards Tara as she reached out for the second one.

Tara handed her the other thermos, though she wasn't really paying attention to the hot cocoa so much as she was just watching Willow's face. It was a favorite pasttime for her.

"What's the verdict?"

Willow smiled at Tara, pausing to wink at her before she took a sip. She swirled the cocoa around in her mouth then nodded, pointing to the first thermos.

"That one definitely had a more marshmallow-y flavor that this one," Willow decided.

Tara handed the first thermos over to Willow with a delicate smile, and something almost like a twinkle in her eye.

"I'm not in a marshmallow-y mood, you have that one," Tara decided. Taking the other one, she downed a few sips, humming contentedly as the hot liquid warmed her from the inside out.

"Still want to take a walk?"

Willow handed the second one back to Tara, giving her a small smile. "Sure," she nodded, gesturing down the beach, before starting in that direction.

"I've missed you," Willow said softly, that fist in her gut not loosening until she got that off her chest.

Tara felt a knot of her own beginning to loosen, bit by bit. She took another sip of the cocoa and then transferred the thermos to her other hand so that she could take a hold of Willow's hand with her free one.

"I've missed you, too. "

Willow's bottom lip trembled and her fingers found Tara's, tightening her hold. "I'm so sorry," Willow whispered, looking over at Tara.

"I just...I couldn't deal, you know?" Willow muttered, trying not to tear up.

At Willow's expression, Tara decided they couldn't continue the walk like this. Still gripping her girlfriend's hand, Tara pulled them to a stop, setting both of their thermoses down carefully on the sand and using her free hand to reach for Willow's other hand.

"Willow, it's...it was a lot to take in. I know you needed time to...absorb it. I-I should've handle it better, I shouldn't have..."

Tara shook her head. She couldn't change the way things had played out.

"I understand. Sometimes you just...need time apart. To...to think," Tara murmured, reflecting on her decision to break up with Willow in her world, in order to fix a situation that had gotten out of hand.

Willow stopped when Tara did, chin quivering a little. "But I didn't even warn you, I just...stopped talking," Willow whispered, the tears spilling down her cheeks slowly.

"And then it didn't work when I tried...." Willow couldn't even bring herself to finish the sentence. She'd tried bringing Xander back with dangerous magicks and she'd failed. Of course, it wasn't her fault. The spell had worked fine, Taxon just didn't work that way.

Tara bit her lip when Willow trailed off, having a hunch that she knew what Willow had tried to do, but been unsuccessful at. Given the way their last conversation about this subject had gone, Tara was reluctant to pursue it, but then...maybe enough time had passed that they could talk about this more reasonably and rationally, and move on from it.

"...when you tried...?" Tara probed quietly, gently, squeezing Willow's hands as she did so, in order to convey her support.

By 100% pure coincidence, Buffy just so happened to be out for a walk on the beach herself. She was twirling a stake idly in one hand (despite the fact that it was daytime-- stupid fake Taxon sun, and it wasn't even sunny anymore), so she could delude herself into thinking this was some kind of patrol. Which it wasn't. The sand made progress slow, but that suited her fine. It didn't take her long to spot Tara, and when she did, she made her way over, in a leisurely fashion.

"Hey there Scholarly." She offered in greeting, eyebrows lifted at the book in Tara's hands.

Edited 2009-11-12 18:00 (UTC)

Having thought she was alone on the beach, Tara jumped slightly at the voice, though her surprised expression quickly changed to a delighted smile at the sight of Buffy.

Out of reflex, Tara shifted the book to look at the cover (though she obviously knew quite well just what she was reading) and replied, "Not so a-academic. It's The Mists of Avalon. It's...it seemed fitting? For a day like today."

Buffy took the opportunity to flop unceremoniously down onto the sand next to Tara, returning the smile before squinting disapprovingly up at the sky.

"You mean on account of this new and refreshingly crappy weather? Yep, it's very appropriate." As the artificial heavens didn't appear to be offering any kind of response to the criticism, she looked back at Tara again. "So how's Tara-Land? Apart from literary?"

Tara shut her book and put it down beside her, crossing her legs and folding her hands into her lap. So much had happened, to all of them, that saying everything was fine would be a lie, but saying that things were not great seemed inaccurate as well.

"Quiet," was all Tara could finally think to say. Much like Tara herself, things recently had felt quiet. Things with Willow were...again, not bad, but...things felt a little off, and that had to be dealt with and worked through eventually. Then there was Xander and everything with Fangtasia.

"Are you...all right?" Tara probed, gently, wondering if she'd get a straight answer out of the Slayer.

'Quiet' worked. Buffy knew exactly what Tara meant by that-- it was almost as though, after so much recent craziness, they were in a lull. How temporary it would prove to be remained to be seen, but for now, yes. Quiet worked.

"Been better," she answered, honestly as opposed to avoidant, for once. For some reason it was easier to do that with Tara than it was with other people, sometimes. "Worrying about everything--" (and by everything she mostly meant Eric-- she waved the useless stake in her hand illustratively, as she continued) "--is... a little exhausting. But I've also been worse-- at least I'm not dead again, right? That's always a plus."

Tara's shoulders relaxed, almost imperceptibly, and she hadn't realized she'd even been tense until Buffy had responded. She worried about Buffy--well, she worried about everyone she loved--slightly more sometimes if only because she had stronger shields than everyone else. Tara was still intuitive enough to usually sense when Buffy wasn't being completely truthful, when things were wrong underneath the surface, but getting Buffy to actually talk about it wasn't always easy. And Tara respected that, and felt even more privileged when Buffy did divulge her thoughts. Like today.

Tara nodded quickly. "Being dead is..." Anything she was about to say sounded so cliche, so she said, "...I'm glad you're not. With everything...I-I'm just glad we're all okay."

For now was the unspoken addendum to that. And then Tara thought of Xander and her heart dropped.

"I'm worried, too. We...we can worry together?"

Two was always better than one.

Despite the way that Buffy treated death with a healthy sense of levity, the fact that Taxon could give people back, people she thought she'd lost forever-- it was one of the reasons she didn't hate the place as much as she probably would otherwise. Having Tara back was an amazing gift. So when she agreed with her, replying "Me too," she really did mean it.

Thinking about Xander made Buffy incredibly depressed, however. She felt his absence daily, but tried to ignore the feeling of loss for the most part, seeking distraction in other things. Training, idle tablet watching... then there was Kirk, too, though he was more than just a distraction.

And no matter what, there was always the worrying.

"'We can worry together'." She repeated, with a wry smile. "That's one hell of a rousing mission statement, if ever I heard one."

Likewise, Tara was grateful for that fact as well. Otherwise, she would have never gotten Willow back, never had a second chance. Taxon seemed to be like the concept of yin and yang manifested in a physical location: for every good thing it gave or did, there was always something bad to balance it out. Unfortunately, they all knew well enough by now that was the way of life in general, especially if you were a Scooby.

"It's..." Tara smiled wryly, "...we're good at it. I-I think it's one of the things we do best. Fight the monsters, worry about fighting the monsters, worry about other people, worry a-about other people fighting the monsters, worry about...about people leaving..."

That was a concern in Tara's mind. Much as she didn't want to think too much about Xander leaving, it worried her to think about how it easily and quickly it had happened, and how it could happen to anyone.

Buffy looked down for a moment, plunging her fingers into the sand, and then watching as the grains slipped through them. It seemed to be an oddly metaphorical and appropriate image.

"I don't think there's anything we can do about that last one," she replied, looking up at Tara again, her expression faintly morose. "Did Willow tell you she tried to bring Xander back? With a spell?"

That was the hard, painful truth, of course. Saying it out loud, worrying about it constantly, did nothing to alter that fact in any way. If a strange power in the universe could decide to randomly send someone here, it could just as easily, on a whim, take them away.

Tara's expression changed at that, and she shook her head. She just hoped that having this lull and relative peace for the moment would give her and Willow a chance to smooth things out, especially regarding the whole magic usage.

"I-I'm...I'm still worried. About that. We're...trying to work through it," Tara noted.

I think, was her unspoken remark.

The fact that Willow hadn't told Tara didn't exactly shock Buffy, though she was trying to give her best friend the benefit of the doubt where magic was concerned, to bear in mind that this Willow wasn't from the same world. It was good having Tara to share her concern with, at least.

"Yeah." She nodded, shifting to make herself slightly more comfortable. After a pause, she added ruefully. "She got mad at me, for not telling her. She might still be-- I don't know."

"We were...she was upset with me, too," Tara murmured, her eyes shifting with a twinge of sorrow and regret. She hadn't wanted to approach Willow about it like that, even if she'd accepted that the subject might have to be brought up eventually. Tara just wished...the entire incident had gone differently. But there was no use lamenting something she couldn't change now.

"I think...she'll be okay? We've all had a lot on our mind, and if she was upset, I-I'm sure she's...she'll work through it. We all will," Tara replied quietly, though with an air of confidence.

"Yeah." Buffy agreed, trying to absorb some of Tara's confidence. "I mean, we've had worse fights. Much worse. We always seem to get through those."

In an attempt to lighten the mood a little, she added, a bit more cheerfully. "I just hope this time doesn't involve us merging essences again-- I could really do without the first Slayer getting all knife-wieldy in my dreams. Plus the whole 'we are legion' vibe was kinda freaky."

Tara laughed softly, and nodded in earnest agreement. She hadn't even been quite as directly involved in that particular 'adventure' but was well aware of how bizarre and freaky it had been. And the first Slayer had chosen to appear as her, which was not very nice, Tara thought.

"Um, we could...we could scare off potential threats by being cr-creepy? I-if we made quilts or-or macaroni art for them, I mean. Spike could help, to...make it creepier."

Tara stuttered a little more as she said it because she was always a little more self-conscious when she was trying to be funny, never quite sure if something funny in her mind translated as funny to other people.

Oh, that certainly translated as funny to Buffy too, and she laughed appropriately, giving Tara an amused look.

"I like it. I'm always open to new methods for fighting the evil. Thinking outside the box." Fake noble reasons out of the way, she added, unashamedly. "Plus, you know, I would pay good green money to watch Spike do macaroni art."

...it'd certainly make her feel less awkward around him, at any rate.

"At least...they wouldn't be expecting it?" Tara mused aloud. She'd never had the issues with Spike that Buffy had, so she wasn't purposely avoiding him, but somehow she hadn't managed to bump into him yet in Taxon. Then again, it was getting more crowded in here than it had once been, and Tara wasn't actually the social butterfly of the year, even on a good day.

The other person Tara had been worrying about for quite some time, apart from Willow and Buffy, was Dawn. Little sister wasn't always much better than big sister when it came to divulging her feelings, so that made it harder to gauge just how the younger Summers sister was doing sometimes.

So, probing further, Tara queried, "How's Dawn? With Xander, a-and...everything?"

"Gotta love the element of surprise." Buffy agreed wryly, shifting her weight a little, to get more comfortable. Tara's question elicited a dejected sort of sigh, and a shake of the head. This was something frequently on her own mind, too.

"She's... okay, I think. Dealing. She misses him a lot, but she's trying her best. I think we all are. I've been... trying to spend as much time with her as possible, y'know, sisterly bonding activity stuff? But I know it's not the same... and I can't be around all the time-- there's Jim and-- well, Jim."

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009: [Location: Sunnydale Beach] We are all just trying to be holy

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[Location: Sunnydayle I mean Taxon beach]

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[location: sunnydale beach]

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