taxonomites | seventeen | location: around taxon | someone who appears to save the day

He doesn't mind. He'd be content having her sleep like this, in his arms, and knowing she's here and safe and nothing can hurt her. He hates the Master for doing this, but he can't hate him at the same time. It's so frustrating. It's so unfair.

"Think I might've earned a pardon for getting everyone back," he says. "If they don't arrest me for being the reason for it."

It's exactly the reason Rose hasn't brought up the Master and the reason she probably won't. That's a subject they'll only fight about and she makes it a habit of avoiding things that have no pay out and break her heart. She takes another careful sip of her tea then another less wary one. It's cooled off enough to drink comfortable. The tea goes a long way toward soothing her throat.

"Motivation, Doctor. Not reason. They're two different things. You may have been his motivation but you are not at fault for this. A pardon would be nice. No more skulking about."

"No," he says, firmly. "It's my fault, Rose. If I had stayed away from you to begin with, he wouldn't have targeted you."

"Doctor, don't be daft." Because really he is. "You'd have to undo everything. Never invite me to travel with you. Not going to let that happen. I'll take this. Everything you've shown me. Everything we've done. Everything I've felt...I want that."

"But I want you to live," he says. "What happened to you, Rose, you shouldn't have had to experience that."

Rose swallows hard and shakes her head. "No one should," she admits. "And I'm alive. I'm living. Heart still beating." For emphasis she picks his hand up and puts it on her chest over her heart.

He can feel her very human heartbeat under his palm, and he leans his forehead to press against hers. She's alive, but how hurt is she inside?

"Sometimes that's worse," he says.

She hasn't had time to even process how hurt she is. It'll take time for her to see the scars. She closes her eyes, taking a moment to form a response because he's right. Sometimes it is worse.

"This feels safe. This is okay right now. It doesn't hurt."

And that's all she even dares hope for right now; a moment with no one screaming, no one crying. A moment where she doesn't feel guilty.

Of course it feels safe, now. She doesn't understand how close to danger she truly is. He holds her, though, because if he lets go, even for a minute, something will happen to her.

"I'll get you to the bath," he says, though he doesn't move from where they are.

In some ways she knows but she doesn't care. She'll take danger if she gets him in the process. In fact, sometimes the danger is part of the appeal. She'd just rather avoid this particular brand of danger for the moment.

"Okay," she answers. After a moment she realizes they're not moving. She takes a deep breath, summoning up energy and a bit of courage so to speak. She scoots off the bed, standing on legs that feel woozy. "Bath with bubbles. We'll feel better."

At least physically.

He follows her as she moves, putting a hand to her back and stepping off the side so she can lean on him.

"Yeah," he says. "Sounds good. Then some rest."

She leans on him more because she can than anything. She is exhausted and unable to remember the last time she slept. She's also nervous about sleeping because even awake when she closes her eyes she sees everything happen all over again.

"Yeah...rest," she says quietly. She knows she has to rest. She's just not looking forward to it.

He opens the door to the bath for her and reaches down to turn on the water. There's a small vial of Venusian bath liquid on the shelf that he'd hatched earlier in the month, and he drops a little liquid into the running water.

"Do you want me to go?" he asks.

She shakes her head, panic in the pit of her stomach at him leaving. This time it isn't because she's afraid she'll never see him. This time it's because she's afraid of being taken, of having to watch people she cares about and even those she doesn't tortured.

"Please don't," she croaks softly. She's hesitant to take off the tee shirt she's wearing. This isn't a moment fueled by passion. She ducks her head then almost shyly peels her tee shirt off, not meeting his eyes and steps into the tub, sliding down into the hot water.

"I'll stay."

There's nothing sexual in the way the Doctor looks up and down Rose's body. He's checking for bruising, for cuts, for signs that the Master has hurt her more than psychologically. Part of him is terrified that the Master---always the more sexual of the two of them---has violated her somehow, because he knows he should do something, he should kill him for it, but he can't.

He sits next to the tub and tugs off his suit jacket, then rolls up his sleeves before he reaches for a sponge to clean her shoulders.

For the most part she's fine. There are bruises on her wrists and her ankles, one on her shoulder from being shuffled around like baggage but over all physically Rose made out much better than anyone else. That's the problem. The guilt and the hopelessness that she felt and still feels will eat at her much longer than a bruise or a cut could ever take to heal.

She pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them as he runs the sponge over her shoulders. Her eyes fill up with tears and she chokes them back. She doesn't have a right to cry. Not over this. Not when everyone else is so hurt.

"I tried to help them, Doctor. Tried to think about what you'd do and how you'd help. I tried. Promise."

It's important to her that he knows she didn't just let this happen.

"I know," he says, touching the sponge lightly to her bruised shoulder and squeezing it to run the warm water over her skin. She shouldn't have had to go through it. None of them should've had to go through it.

He reaches out to touch a lock of her hair behind her ear. She's so fragile, Rose, and he's let someone break her. He hates himself for it.

She's still for a long while, letting him run warm water over her skin and trying to abstain from crying. She would argue that she's not fragile but right now that argument wouldn't hold much weight. Without wanting to she turns over everything in her mind that she saw, heard and said. That brings her to the thing that caused her more personal pain than any other.

"The Master said--" She stops because once she asks the question she can't ever take it back. Regardless of what the answer is, she can't ever unhear it. "He said that you and Morgana--you connected with her."

Before it's even out of her mouth she knows it's true. She knew it when the Master was telling her about it. "Let her walk 'round in your head." And the tears well up in her yes, finally winning their battle and trickling down her cheeks in slow tracks.

It explains a lot. Why Morgana was the only one utterly unconscious at the site, why her injuries were so extensive. The Master didn't like sharing, and while he could probably handle sharing Rose romantically, he wouldn't share the psychic connection he once had with the Doctor. Morgana suffered for the Doctor's curiosity.

His hand on her shoulder, he takes a breath. For the first time, lying doesn't even feel like an option.

"Sort of," he says. "It's not that simple."

She bites her bottom lip so hard she thinks her teeth are going to cut through. They don't. Not quite but her lip tingles even after she's stopped biting it. "Yeah. Didn't imagine it was. Something like that never is."

She can barely force herself to form the words and push them past her lips. She feels like she's going to drown in all the pain in her chest right now.

He hasn't betrayed Rose, he thinks. Not really, not properly. Connecting is different from, well, other things. And while the thought of snogging Morgana has crossed his mind, he hasn't. Not that it would matter, he's not Rose's boyfriend. Is he?

"I was trying to show her," he says. "Trying to show her that I knew---something in the past. Knew she wouldn't believe me, so I decided to show her."

A pause.

"The first time."

Sorry, Doctor but in Rose's head, in her heart, whether she'll admit it or not, she does consider him her boyfriend. Something even more than her boyfriend. He's hers. At least as long as she's here.

"How does showing her something in the--" And then she stops because there was more than one time. She pulls away from his touch, curling to one corner of the tub. "The first--he told me. He told me what it was like. He told me--" And she stops again. This time because emotion overwhelms her. She presses her hand to her mouth. She will not cry like this. She will not. Or at least she's going to make her best attempt at not crying.

"Whatever he told you, he told you to hurt you, Rose," the Doctor says, firmly. "Connecting isn't---it isn't---well, it is, but it isn't. It was the easiest way to show her, to understand her. She's a ridiculously un-understandable individual!"

He pulls his hand back, hurt by her movement. He knows he shouldn't be. It's his fault she was hurt in the first place, and his fault that the Master had that ammunition to injure her with.

"If it weren't everything he says it was then why did you lie to me," Rose asks accusingly. She understands that she was told those things because they would cause her pain but that doesn't make her feel any better.

"I didn't lie to you," he says. "I just...I didn't tell you."

Partially because he didn't think of when he could bring it up. Partially because, despite what he says now, he felt guilty for it. He still feels guilty for it.

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler

Re: Rescuing the Victims--Rose Tyler