taxonomites | 026: [ voice | location: caritas ] A bingin' we will go

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026: [ voice | location: caritas ] A bingin' we will go

[ guess who's now seated at a secluded corner in caritas, with her head on the table and nursing a huge bottle of alcohol on her own.

no, really. guess. ] Oh, who cares about... broody, stupid vamps when I've got you... [ she grabs the bottle and reads: ] Mr. Voodoo Tiki Tequila. Mmm. You're now my new best friend, 'kay?

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Probably would've done the same if Faith hadn't been there, but yeah. Didn't have a clue as to who either of us were.

Benefits of being Sunnydale!Angel. That guy practically doesn't know anyone save for Buffy.

Y'know, I didn't even know about that until Spike told me about it.

About what? Him and Buffy and their tragic love story?

Just that they were together, had history.

...how much did Dad tell you about what happened in hell?

You mean the one where he got turned to a human, had a dragon named after me, then eventually figured out that he had to die so the senior partners will have to rewind time to before all of that ever happened?

[ short answer: quite a lot. ]

Didn't tell you that you came to him, did he?

[ quietly: ] He, um, did. [ pause. ] He... told you about that? His... hallucinations or whatever he called them?

I know about his hallucinations when he explained the dragon after the fact, but that's not what I'm talking about.

He almost died once, before he actually did die. It was...bad. He was barely alive when we found him; unconscious and hardly even breathing. We were losing him and there was nothing we could do short of Spike just turning him into a vampire again, which would've meant dealing with Angelus on top of the Demon Lords and Wolfram & Hart's armies. I almost said yes to that, but--

What I didn't know at the time, was that he almost gave up. Almost just let himself die, because he was tired and couldn't take it any more and that prophecy had him convinced that it would be better if he just died and got it all over with right then and there. But, you came to him while he was in that middle stage of being, I don't know, between life and death. Talked some sense into him and helped give him reason to hold on and keep going.

[ a small but audible gasp from her can be heard. that... sounds like something she would do, if she were still alive and well to do it, but... wasn't she dead at that time? The Powers... they'd actually allow for something like that to happen, for her to reach out just when angel needed it the most? ]

I... did?

You did. Or, he believes you did that it was really you and not some figment of his imagination.

My point is, that regardless of whether or not it was really you or all in his head, you were the one that his mind was on when he was standing on death's door step. Is that the sort of person who would go running back to some Slayer he left years ago?

She's not just some Slayer, Connor. She's... well, she's Buffy.

[ which sounds lame, even to her, but there are just some things she can't ever explain to someone who wasn't there at the very beginning, who's never been a witness to the epic love story that shaped angel into who he was. because angel reverting to that part of his life where everything was about buffy is just one way of confirming that maybe, somehow, the two of them will get together again, as they will be forever tied by that very complicated past - despite buffy's assurances that they won't. ]

I don't know. I mean, I know this will end, but I just... [ she sighs. ] I don't know. Seeing him like that, it's just... [ nope, can't finish this thought. ]

And Faith's a Slayer, too. If she's not allowed to have some special sort of entitlement over the other hundreds of Slayers out there, then why should Buffy? Why shouldn't the three that helped us in hell? So what if she can fly and all that shi-- [ language. ] --crap? You're the one he shapes his life around, even after you're gone. He's had plenty of opportunities to go back to her and he hasn't. Even after you're...well, not around.

If he remembers, he's going to be wicked guilt tripping himself over it, because if I know one thing he beats himself up over the most? Is things regarding you.

[ god, she wants to believes connor's words, so bad. it's stupid and senseless to dwell - cordelia knows this, really - but...

...but.

ugh, she's so sick of this crap. pull yourself together, damnit. ] God, Connor. If you're here? I think I'm going to have to hug you. [ except, you know, awkward. moving on: ] How did you get to be so smart? Considering who your father is.

Edited 2010-07-18 10:46 (UTC)

Nah. I think Dad would flip a table if he found out I was anywhere that serves alcohol. He seems to forget that I'm in college.

[ ... ]

Uh, don't remind him. I don't need that lecture again.

[ yyeeeaahhh awkward. he's trying to push past it, though. the fact that he's even talking to her is a big step. ]

Must've got it from those fake memories, 'cause I certainly didn't get it from him. [ he's joking. mostly. ]

...you're in college?

Standford University, yeah. Actually brought the campus coffee house with me, but I didn't really go there for the coffee. Mostly to study.

Stanford. [ there's a bit of smile in her voice as she says: ] You never... considered Notre Dame, by any chance?

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026: [ voice | location: caritas ] A bingin' we will go

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