taxonomites | [location:somewhere in Taxon][accidental visual] The aftermath

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[location:somewhere in Taxon][accidental visual] The aftermath

John didn't know what had happened. His head was pounding, leg ached, and he had a distinct impression that he'd been in a brawl or three. He woke on the street in some nondescript part of Taxon. How had he gotten out here? How many nights had passed? Glancing down at himself, he saw it. Blood. His hands and clothes were spattered with it. Memories rushed back. The faces of those people, shoving one off a building, a few more cut badly, twisted bones.

"No." He whispered, his eyes closing for a moment, then louder. "No!" His fist slammed into the stone wall behind him.

Helen had warned him about these glitches, but was that what this was? Perhaps it was his nature breaking the surface. Perhaps Nikola's impromptu and accidental treatment had not taken as well as they had all hoped. Maybe he was a beast too wild to be caged. He pushed himself off the ground. He'd solve this. No one would be harmed for his own sick urges.

He teleported to the top of the building he was next to and prepared to jump, arms at his sides as he thought of all the lives he'd taken. He thought of his family, or what he wished could have been his family. Helen, their daughter. It could have been so beautiful.

[[ooc - John's unglitched! Someone heeeelp him]]

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Aeryn had been curled around her Prowler's main engine for the better part of the day, tinkering with coils and fixing minor glitches in the computer system. It was running in near perfect condition already, but the woman needed something to keep her mind off the fact that she was lost in some strange, distant underground facility with no notion of how to be free. It was one of the few things that kept her sane.

She was up to her elbows in grease and oil when her tablet blazed to life to send out an agonizing scream. It started her and she slipped and dropped her wrench into the engine past her reach. Angrily, she lifted herself up out of the engine and grabbed her tablet. It showed an image of a man she had never seen before and he was smeared in the dark color that Aeryn could only assume was blood. "Frell me, what happened to you?" She had been in Taxon long enough to know that even though you may not always know the person on the other end of the line, figuring out who they were could often lead to interesting conversations.

The infuriating piece of machinery began to make a sound. John grabbed it with both hands and held it up. Standing on the edge of a building might not have been the best place to carry on a conversation, but he was willing to try, if only for a moment.

"What happened, my dear lady, is the product of genetic manipulation. Playing god has brought the devil out in me once more and I will not let it happen again." The gloomy Taxon sky stirred up a gust of wind. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back for a moment, accepting it as a gift to clear his mind.

"There is blood on these hands, and the beast still lurks within. I cannot control it, despite my best efforts. If I take the chance to try again, I may hurt the ones I care about."

Flight. It had been a new discovery and purely a accident of chance when he'd tripped on the streets between the two Sanctuaries and found himself floating above ground instead of faceplanting into it. He'd been messing around qith it most of the day, away from the confusion and heady uncertainty that came with having his feet firmly on the ground. It was a feeling that was reassuring, familiar, flying through the clouds with the wind rustling his hair and nothing to think about except concentrating on not crossing any flight paths. Not that he had to worry about that here. Of course, as his gaze turned slowly, another spike of familiar shot through him as he spied a man standing on the top of a building. That was always the way, wasn't it?

His features slowly fading back into his own as he switched from the faster flight to a slower gliding as he zipped back around and towards the building, Gabriel lingered back just away from the building, hovering in midair and not directly in the man's line of sight. Not that he had any delusions that that had likely kept him from spotting him first.

Upon getting a clear picture of just who it was standing on the ledge of the building, Gabriel frowned, unable to quell the soft spike of sympathy that ran through him, "I certainly hope you aren't planning on jumping," He said, the statement coming out dry and sarcastic despite the empathy that he was feeling at the moment for the other man's circumstances. "That would leave quite the mess for someone to clean up."

"There are less public ways of ending it, I suppose." He acknowledged his rooftop-companion with only words. His gaze was placed on the ground, several floors below. "But I am not entirely sure that I would be man enough to go through with any other way." He finally turned his head and caught sight of the floating man.

"My word," he breathed, turning fully, "A vampire with flight? Oh, Nikola would be marveled by you." Poor John still didn't understand the concept of humans with abilities. Thus far, everything he had seen of Gabriel, he could attribute to Nikola and his spawn of vampiric genetic mutations.

"Vampire?" Gabriel echoed, blinking for a moment as he offered John a curious gaze. "What that what all of that 'your kind' prattle was about? You think I'm a vampire?" Yes, that was Gabriel trying not to laugh. He supposed he could understand how he would seem otherworld, but he couldn't for the life of him ever recall hearing of a legend where a vampire could manipulate electricity. Landing delicately on the edge of the roof, Gabriel turned on a dime until he was standing right next to John, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm as human as human can be," Gabriel said before casting his gaze down at the ground below. The only comfort he could take in the man that was standing on the edge of the roof was that if he did happen to change his mind halfway down, he had a means through which to correct the circumstance. Then again, getting him to not jump in the first place would be much more efficient. And Gabriel couldn't help but think that he just might have the ability, maybe. If it was about what he thought it might be.

"And humans make mistakes," Gabriel continued, casting his gaze back over at John. "Nothing is irredeemable."

"I apologize." He said, also keeping his eyes on the man in his peripheral. "You exhibited many of the same traits as an old friend of mine. I assumed." He chuckled. "Human. We all are, to a point. Genetic defects, manipulations. We are the wonder and the mistakes of this race. A herd that needs to be culled." His voice was low, barely audible. His gaze was locked to the ground.

"Is there no crime more deserving of punishment than murder? Murder for no gain, even." He let out a bark of sick laughter. "Just satisfying the uncontrollable thirst for bloodshed. There is no salvation left for me."

"Punishment, perhaps, but I can't accept the latter," Gabriel said, shifting his gaze back to John. "Or I might as well fling myself off as well." Not that it would make much of a difference since his body would simply put itself right back together again no matter how hard he hit the pavement below. "No man is beyond salvation. Even those with the blood of innocents on their hands. I have to believe that. Or there's no point in trying to make up for what I've done."

"You..?" John couldn't fully form the question at first. He turned himself slightly to take in the sight of the man. Flashes in his mind showed him all the things that had been done to him in their last encounter. He could still feel the burns on his flesh. They had been an accident, but something that the man could not control. Was it that different? A driving, uncontrollable force deep inside of you, begging for release. And despite what John said while he was under the influence of his madness, he truly never wanted to hurt anyone.

"How do I atone?"

Gabriel nodded at the half formed question. He knew he didn't have to explain or quantify how many. Even one was more than enough, and while he might not understate exactly how the other man was feeling right now since the murders he'd committed all felt like a horrible dream, he did know what it was to feel the regret.

"And we do what we can do," Gabriel said, his gaze turning back out over the city slowly. "Try and make it up to the people that are left alive."

Granted, that only worked if they allowed it, but that didn't prevent them from trying to make it up, from trying to be better people. It was up to the discretion of the other parties involved whether those attempts were accepted or not.

John found it strange to feel so comfortable talking with this man he'd hardly met. He didn't even know his name. It didn't matter, especially if he planned to end it - but now he wasn't so sure. What sort of coward would he be to not make up for his past mistakes? He could, at the very least, make good on his life before disappearing. There was so much he had to do in order to make right with Helen, with Ashley, with the world.

John sighed and stepped off the ledge, his hands shaking as he tried to find the words.

"I don't. I don't even know where to begin."

John, what the hell are you doing?!

[ Helen clearly didn't approve of the impromptu suicide.]

Another voice on the tablet, but this one so much more familiar.

"Take solace in this, Helen. We won't. You won't have to worry about it happening again."

Dammit, John! Throwing your life away is not going to solve what has been done! Even if you are gone, the scars are still there. Did you not learn that the first time?

"Helen, there are things I will never be able to control. I can. I can see flashes. I can see you. That fear. I cannot allow myself to put you or anyone else in danger. I won't." His voice cracked. It was a blessing that it was only her voice transmitting, and not her face. He wasn't entirely sure that he could face her.

[That is the sound of a large something hitting the counter.]

Stop being such a selfish adolescent! What do you think Ashley will think if she finds you dead all over the pavement?!

What did she have to be angry about? She knew what he was. She knew the damage he could do, and how easy it would be to start all over again.

"I can't control it, Helen. I thought I could, but I." He choked on the words. "I can not begin to explain all the things I knew I could do to you that night." Whether he was talking about the one just a moment ago, or far back in their past was unclear. "I knew exactly how I would kill you. I cannot allow myself that chance."

So, then you believe killing yourself is better? It is not. Ashley is looking for proof she can control what she is. And, you want to go and make yourself a bloody mess all over the pavement? God sakes, John. For once won't you trust someone?

"It's not you that I don't trust. It's myself. I can't trust myself." He knew he couldn't do this with her talking to him, but he didn't have the heart to disconnect the feed. He didn't actually want to die. He wanted hope that he could live without ruining the lives of those around him. Didn't Helen realize why he'd left for so long? A century of travel, and not just for the thrill of the hunt. He'd left so that she would be safe. But this city only allowed him so much freedom, and they had a terrible habit of running into one another.

"I can't bear the thought of harming you. Or her. Helen, I don't know how long I can keep this beast tamed. I fear the damage that might come. What choice do I have? Would you feel safe with me near you after all you've seen of me? After seeing the past repeat itself? Would you allow me into your home?" He shook his head, "I couldn't blame you if you refused me entrance."

Gabriel has not killed a single soul while being here. If he is capable of doing such a thing, than so are you. He has killed more than you ever had, John. He allows himself to heal and is aware of what he is and how to stop it. What you need to do is find out how to stop. Gabriel does it by trusting others and creating a family. Perhaps you should do the same.

"Do I have a family to create?" His voice was more like a whisper than anything else. He couldn't even bring himself to look at the tablet, knowing that she could see him. They had danced around this conversation for so long. All he wanted to do was ask, but asking meant getting an answer, meant knowing for certain where she stood.

"Could you ever." He stopped and tried again, "Could you ever learn to love me again, Helen, after everything?" Without that hope, what point was there?

[She is quiet for a moment.]

Trust comes before love, John. You know that.

"That really wasn't the question, Helen, but I think I know what you are trying to say." He sighed and stepped off the ledge. "I can't expect a lifetime of pain to be erased so easily. But I will try."

Trying is what matters. Don't make me repeat to you what I've had to tell a man who is going to outlive the both of us.

"A man to know a longer life than you? I never thought I'd see the day." There might have been more humor in his voice in any other circumstance. "If you are offering us similar advice, perhaps I should meet this man." An attempt at passive conversation, and a bit of a failure.

His name is Gabriel. He lives in the Sanctuary.

Alright, Henry might not like the guy much, but this... This wasn't what he wanted. "Hey. Hey, wait up there. What the hell is going on?

John sighed heavily as he looked at the screen. He knew the man from Helen's Sanctuary, but held him in little consequence otherwise.

"It is no concern of yours. Just understand that a problem will soon be eradicated for you and your colleagues."

"Oh good," he resisted rolling his eyes, barely. "You get to jump and what, end it all? Leave the rest of us to clean up your mess?"

"I've asked no one to clean up anything. I regret the parts of me that have already complicated things." He wasn't completely sure why he was even talking to the man. A colleague of Helen's. She cared for him like a son - he could see that.

"What good could come from my presence here?"

There were times, Henry thought, that he wished people could see the larger picture. "I don't know," his tone was dry, verging on sarcastic, "it might be nice for Ashley to know her father, or even have someone who can teach her how to deal with being what she is. But hey, what do I know?"

Sarcasm wasn't really an effective tool in John's opinion, but the reality of Henry's statement hit him square in the chest. He had offered lessons to his daughter, offered to help her understand what she was and what she could do. Helen could help, but no one understood the gift as he did. It had driven him mad, and yet...

"Perhaps," he paused and swallowed, "Perhaps you're right." He took a step back from the ledge. Just a small one.

Henry told himself to not get angry. That this was too delicate a situation to deal with by shouting. He swallowed his words, only speaking after a moment. "She's half you. Whatever Magnus does to fix her? She's still going to be half you. She still has abnormalities she needs to learn to live with."

To be fair, John only knew how to deal with one of Ashley's gained abilities. Her vampiric traits were something so very foreign to him. Teleportation was all he had ever known.

"What if it does the same thing to her?" He'd never voiced the fear aloud. "What if she becomes what I am?" He wasn't even sure if he was speaking to the young man any longer, but the feed was still open. John wasn't sure what he'd do with that knowledge, that guilt. Ashley had already been programmed into a weapon. This was their second chance, but what if this gift was fated to turn a good person into a monster?

That Henry had no idea. But at least he wasn't afraid to admit it. "I don't know. But she has the Doc and me for that. The teleporting is hers, and yours. Even if the Doc gets rid of the other stuff-" there wasn't a nice way to put this, "she's stuck with that."

And hell, "she's never seemed like a homicidal killer to me. A bit rough when it comes to teasing her friends-" nearly her brother, he thought, "but I don't think that is Ashley's problem."

"And you think I exhibited all the signs for this disease prior to the episodes?" John marveled at his ignorance. It didn't matter. John knew he hadn't always been this way, and that it had ebbed once before and now a second time. Helen had said something about this place causing problems. Glitches, she called them. It wasn't as if he understood the concept fully, but there was hope that it wasn't entirely his fault.

He felt bad for even suggesting it to himself. Of course it was his fault. This was his weakness being exploited. John took another step back, pulling himself off the ledge and onto more solid ground.

"We must hope she can overcome this." As much of a danger as he thought himself to be - if he could help any of them for even a moment, it would be worth it. "I need you to promise me something. Henry, isn't it? The next time this happens, whatever it takes, I need you to kill me." He knew it was a big task, all things considered. "Helen. I think she tried. I don't want that memory on her. I can't." He stopped. "Just promise me that you'll stop it before I have the chance to hurt them."

Henry understood more than Druitt might realise. Glitches or not, this place could only be held so responsible for things.

John's question threw him, but considering it, it shouldn't have. Henry's eyes went dark, nodding the once. "Don't worry. That's a promise I can make."

He wouldn't let Druitt hurt anyone again, and he wouldn't let Magnus take the guilt onto herself.

"Good man." He said simply before turning off the feed. His life would not end tonight. He had a purpose, for at least a little while longer.

Henry swore when his screen went black. But it was a promise he intended to keep. He just wondered if he should tell Magnus about it.

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[location:somewhere in Taxon][accidental visual] The aftermath

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