007 [Voice: Locked to the Supernatural Crew] Canon Bump Part 2

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

How much do you know, Dean?

Castiel? How long have you known? Always?

And Dad...I don't even know where to begin. You knew for...years, didn't you?

I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to and I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought-

[His voice breaks off a second before he clears his throat and continues]

I'm sorry. I know that doesn't even begin to fix this but I don't know how. I don't-You were right, Dean. I'm a monster.

...Mom

I'm just sorry.

Comments

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

Sam doesn't know what else to do but hug her back, probably a little too tightly at first. He's all hunched over before he finally straightens up and pulls her off her feet, still hugging her.

[iwantafamily.livejournal.com]

Mary holds on to Sam and doesn't let go until he finally sets her back down. "It'll be alright," she promises. There's only so much she can say when she doesn't know what's going on. "We'll figure this out together."

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

"I did a lot of bad things, Mom."

He feels like he should at least get that part out right away. He can start with generalizations and get down to details as they go. The details are the hard part anyway.

[iwantafamily.livejournal.com]

"Alright, let's talk about this," Mary tells him, not wanting to upset him by refusing to believe him. She sits down at the table, waiting for him to take a seat, too. "Start at the beginning, Sam. Whatever that is."

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

Sam sighs and sits down next to her. He's not sure where to start because Mary doesn't know anything.

"The deal you made with Azazel...he made that deal with a lot of people. He gave us demon blood, infected all the kids and for years it was...fine. Then I went to Stanford, I had a life and a future and a plan." He stops, a nostalgic smile touching his face for a second.

"I had a girlfriend...Jess. I was going to ask her to marry me and then Dean shows up one weekend. Dad's missing...out on a hunting trip. I went with him to help look for him. I came back and Jess had left cookies on a plate with a note that said she missed me. I walked in the bedroom, laid down with my eyes closed and I was gonna just go to sleep. I figured she was at the library studying or out with some of her friends. Then the ceiling started leaking...warm...she was up there...pinned to the ceiling, her blood dripping on my forehead and...she burst into flames. The whole room went up and Dean dragged me out."

He's quiet for a few minutes before he looks up at Mary then goes on with another sigh. "Azazel needed me out there being a hunter...not in law school. I started getting these visions of people being killed. Sometimes we could save them...sometimes the visions were too late. And when Dean was in trouble? Real trouble...I could move things with my mind. Telekinesis. All the kids had powers. One of them stopped hearts by touching people, one of them was super strong...another one had mind control. It was an army of psychic kids."

[iwantafamily.livejournal.com]

"The powers come from the blood," Mary answers, frown on her face, trying to think and listen, searching for something that she can make sense of in all of this. She feels guilty, more guilty than she ever has, but she's pushing that back for now. Her guilt isn't nearly as important as what's happening to her son. "From when he infected you. But I've never heard of anything..."

She shakes her head. Maybe she has heard of something, but she left that life behind ten years ago. She's spent a lot of time since then trying to forget. "What happened after that?"

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

Sam takes a minute, thinking about it because he doesn't think Mary needs that many details. She just needs to know enough to understand that he'd been struggling with this for a while. He doesn't want her to feel guilty though. He doesn't blame her. If there had been a demon anywhere that would have taken his soul or his future or...hell the soul of Jesus Christ, he would have sold it to get Dean back.

"I haven't either...not since," he tells her. "After that Azazel pulled us all into this ghost town with demons and it was like American Idol...psy kid edition without the singing. Last one standing. I didn't kill anybody, Mom." He looks up at her, desperation on his face because he wants her to know he didn't until...well you know, he did. "Dean came to get me and...it was me and this guy left...I could have killed him. We fought and I had this chance...I left him on the ground unconscious. Dad told us never ot use what we knew with humans...even though Jake wasn't all human. I turned my back to go to Dean and Jake...anyway, Dean brought me back and I shot him. I shot him. Killed him too." Jake not Dean but he assumes that Mary will assume that. He's conveniently skipped over the whole 'dean sold his soul to get me back' part of the story. Not that Mary won't figure that out eventually.

"The visions went away after we killed Azazel. The telekinesis never happened again. Then Dean had to be somewhere else for a while and I was on my own. I didn't do very well without him. I got migraines. I only had Ruby...she's a demon that helped us a lot. She saved my life over and over. She saved Dean's like...I trusted her and not having Dean there made me trust her more. She started showing me how to use my powers. I could exorcise a demon with my brain. But..." he stops because this is the part where it gets dicey; the part he doesn't want to tell Mary.