007 [Voice: Locked to the Supernatural Crew] Canon Bump Part 2

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

How much do you know, Dean?

Castiel? How long have you known? Always?

And Dad...I don't even know where to begin. You knew for...years, didn't you?

I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to and I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought-

[His voice breaks off a second before he clears his throat and continues]

I'm sorry. I know that doesn't even begin to fix this but I don't know how. I don't-You were right, Dean. I'm a monster.

...Mom

I'm just sorry.

Comments

[voice]

[caelitus.livejournal.com]

[... he takes a minute to answer.]

Yes.

Re: [voice]

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

Okay

[he takes a deep, noisy breath]

Was it like Job or...what?

[caelitus.livejournal.com]

We weren't allowed to intervene.

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

But the world is ending now because of me and I never wanted that. Aren't you guys supposed to stop that?

[caelitus.livejournal.com]

[... Sighs.]

We are to do as we are told, Sam.

[-- hold up] Lilith was successful?

[voice]

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

[Dean starts with a very firm voice, almost angry.]

You are not a monster, Sam.

Re: [voice]

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

[It takes Sam several seconds to respond, trying to figure out when Dean is from]

You have no idea, Dean. You're going to change your mind...when you know.

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

When I know what?

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

I screwed up so bad Dean.

[fudgingkillyou.livejournal.com]

Fuck, Sam, just tell me what happened. [Dean's irritation is mostly out of apprehension; he doesn't like being out of the loop.]

[voice]

[ditchabledate.livejournal.com]

[Heaping helping of 'bzuh?']

...Did I miss somethin'?

Re: [voice]

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, Bobby. So much.

[ditchabledate.livejournal.com]

Aww, Sam. I know somethin' ain't right but I can't do anything 'less you get to details.

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

The last seal, Bobby...I broke it. All the things they said about me. They're true. They come true.

[}It's easier to tell now maybe because in part he's told Dean. Also he doesn't have to give Bobby details. The man is smart enough to figure them out]

[ditchabledate.livejournal.com]

[long-ass pause, because what the hell?] You what? How the hell'd you-- [Bobby finally puts two and two together, assuming Sam got out of Taxon and that it was similar to time travel, there and back again in minutes] No, we locked you up! No way you escaped!

[voice]

[iwantafamily.livejournal.com]

[Mary is as concerned as she is confused.]

What are you apologizing for, Sam?

Re: [voice]

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

Just-I can't, Mom.

I'm sorry.

[voice]

[iwantafamily.livejournal.com]

You can't what?

Talk to me.

Re: [voice]

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you what I did.

You-I know what-when Dad died and you saved him but I thought I could-I wanted to be better than...and I wasn't. I was everything they expected me to be and more.

[voice]

[iwantafamily.livejournal.com]

You can tell me anything, I'm your mother.

Who's they?

[has-thateffect.livejournal.com]

Yeah...Sammy. I knew. Not years though. I suspected for years. Actually knew about the time I disappeared, just before Jessica died.

I told Dean--and I shouldn't have left it up to him. I should have handled it but I'd hoped that you'd...come around.

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

...

Handled it? Dean told me that you told him he might have to kill me if I went evil...I'm your son, I'm his brother how can you talk about it like it's-

Nevermind. I should be used to this. You're John Winchester. The hunt comes first. The world comes first, unless it's about Mom then you'll sacrifice anyone and anything you have to in order to get revenge.

[has-thateffect.livejournal.com]

Dammit, Sam...that not what I meant.

I didn't want you to have to live with this. I didn't want to take the chance that you'd destroy the world and then have to live with watching it die. There are worse things than dying. I didn't want you to have to deal with those.

[notantichrist.livejournal.com]

Like you put down Bill Harvelle? He was someone's husband and someone's father and...

How could you do that to Dean? I mean--let's not even talk about how you could shoot me.

[has-thateffect.livejournal.com]

You've got no idea what happened there, Sam so don't go there.


What do you think this was doing to him? What do you think watching you like this does to him?