taxonomites | five | [Location: Levi's Mansion] | got my boots on, the right amount of leather

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five | [Location: Levi's Mansion] | got my boots on, the right amount of leather

New Years Eve.

Levi is ready, decked out in his party suit, and a lot of makeup. He's just finished his preparations, and he's sitting in his living room, waiting patiently for Cordelia to arrive, and then the guests. Of course, the party isn't taking place in his living room. That's much too small for such a large event.

He's having a party in his basement.

His basement is huge, and he's decked it out in lights and such that he's hatched. All of it has a New Years theme, somehow; Levi's good at throwing parties, he knows how to decorate. The room is basically like a nightclub. It's dark, but clear of most beams and supports; there are couches and chairs, and a bar to the far end, stocked with just about every type of alcohol imaginable (as well as a few different types of blood). Here and there, there's potted plants and trees in clumps, as well as a giant throne, surrounded by those plants, further along on the back wall. There's also a large stage towards the middle, with a dancing space out in front of it. And right above the stage is a giant clock, which Levi had set up earlier for the countdown later that night.

As for music, he's got a whole playlist, just waiting to be started. It's a huge mix of things, from pop-y dance music to slow songs for the couples. There's a few setlists, of sorts, pinned to the walls and the bar.

It's about ten minutes before the party arrives, and Levi is waiting impatiently.

[[ooc: Vaguely organized planning post here! If there's a song you suggested and you want it to be played, it will be. Just handwave it. So yes! Have fun. :D

EDIT: Subthread labeled for the countdown to midnight is up! Grab your date and tag there for kissy tiemz. :3]

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He should've known that she wasn't going to stop. Well, Angel would simply block her path. Increasing his own pace, he caught up with her, then stepped in front of her. "Stop running from me-- from what you saw."

For a second, she considered just punching him in the face. Quick, simple, didn't involve any talking and would get him out of her way pretty fast. Might even be slightly emotionally satisfying-- but no, not a good plan. So instead, looking off to one side, anywhere but at him, she just asked, her throat tight.

"What do you want, Angel?"

What did he want? Following her out had been near instinctive, a reflex response that he hadn't even bothered questioning or fighting. And now that he was out here and had her stopped, he was a bit lost on his reasoning for trailing after her. To apologize, to talk--

"To explain. I didn't... I didn't want you to find out that way."

Angel's response didn't do a great deal to pacify her-- in the big swirling mess that was her current emotional state, anger was a definite feature, and now here it was coming out.

"Yeah, and you made every effort, didn't you?"

Unable to face him, she turned on her heel and started walking again, not paying any attention to which direction she was walking in.

Angel followed again, catching up to her with ease and reaching out and taking hold of one of her arms. "Stop running! It wasn't supposed to go that far. We never meant-- It wasn't the time, but it got out of hand. You weren't supposed to see that."

"Don't touch me!" She said angrily, as she shook off his grip, although it had the desired effect of finally getting her to stop running, and face him.

"Well guess what, I did." She wasn't yelling-- she was at that point close to tears where her voice would've cracked if she'd tried anything too loud. "Why are you bothering? Why do you even-- you don't even care. Obviously you don't, because--" she couldn't finish the sentence, covering her mouth with her hand as she turned away from him. Not to run this time, though.

She would never have taken this well, no matter who it was. The fact that it was Cordelia though, someone she'd started to consider a good friend, and neither of them... not Angel, not Cordelia, neither of them had thought to tell her. At least if it hadn't been like that, maybe she wouldn't feel quite this betrayed-- not that she had any claim on Angel anymore, she knew that, but it still hurt to find out that way.

"That's not true and you know it," he said of her accusing him of not caring. Angel cared, he would always care. "What I felt--feel, it hasn't gone away and probably never will. It's because I care that I didn't... It wasn't the right time. I was waiting until after the holidays, after things calmed down from the chaos of last month. Trust me when I say I wasn't planning on keeping this from you."

Angel reached out as if to touch her shoulder, but stopped and let his hand fall to his side. "I don't like seeing you like this. Hurting. And knowing that it's because of something I did." It was his turn to turn away so that their backs were facing, adding softly, "All I do is hurt you."

He knew she wouldn't have handled this well. He was anticipating it, expecting it.

"But you've hurt me, too. Hurting's unavoidable. Think we'd be used to it by now."

Buffy just listened to him in silence, staring down at the ground, blinking only when her vision started to swim. What he was saying-- that he didn't mean for it to happen, that he did care about her, it didn't help. None of it helped. What was done was done, although now at least her anger had fizzled, until there was just the dull, sad, ache left in her chest. She wished she could be angry again, this was worse.

He was right, though. Hurting was unavoidable. Ever since he left her to go to L.A, she'd gotten used to that pain-- she'd moved on, fallen in love again, but that pain-- her feelings for him, they never truly went away, even if they could fade, or grow dim in her memory. Distance helped with that.

"It was easier when you were far away," she answered quietly, not turning around.

"I know," he said, turning back around and moving until he was standing at her left, hands shoved into his pockets. "But there isn't any way to be far away here. Things between us, Buffy, are...awkward," and he wasn't just referring to the fact that they were in relationships that weren't with one another. "There are things that happened in LA that you don't know about. That I can't-- That I haven't told you about. Things that are going to hurt you to hear. I thought that keeping all that to myself would make it easier on both of us, told myself that there wasn't any reason to bring up what I felt for Cordelia, my second run as Angelus--" Or Connor. "--among other things."

That seemed to be the worst angle to go for, though for now he felt like the bad guy who worked for Wolfram & Hart and kept all the truths filed away in cabinets instead of sharing them with the world that Giles had painted him as and Andrew had reiterated to him. No one trusts you. With good reason, he realized now. What good was keeping secrets that would hurt people from them if all it did was hurt them more than what the secrets contained?

Angel knew, though, that Connor was going to hurt her. If her reaction to him kissing Cordelia was anything to go by, learning that he'd had a son with Darla would... He didn't know if he should come clean about that just yet, though the urge to tell her everything in an attempt to make things right was hard to ignore.

"But, I'll tell you. If you want to know. You deserve to know. I just... Things are different. I'm different and so are you and there are things that happened in LA that I... I don't necessarily want to forget, but have made it so the rest of the world does. And I'm okay with that. It was part of my agreement to take over Wolfram & Hart, though some days I think that was a bad idea, too." He looked down again, kicking at a stray rock. "I guess it comes down to me not knowing what I'm doing anymore. I used to have a goal, this purpose... Now? There's a direction to head in and while following it may be the big step the world needs, it's taking me several steps back on something I might never be able to grasp hold of again."

A beat.

"Not even Cordelia knows about all that. She's just recently stopped being mad at me for keeping things from her."

Edited 2010-01-07 12:15 (UTC)

His admission that things were 'awkward' between them got a laugh out of Buffy-- not the particularly mirth-filled kind, but more of an ironic chuckle. Wiping her eyes, she lifted her head finally, to look at him sidelong. She listened, absorbing everything he said. Some things sounded worse than others-- namely the circumstances that led up to exactly how he got turned into Angelus for the second time, and those that led up to him taking over Wolfram & Hart. She'd struggled to fathom why he would ever do that herself, at the time-- and of course had teams gathering intel on the law firm's activities ever since, unbeknownst to Angel, of course. He'd probably find the idea of her keeping tabs on him a bizarre irony. Of course there was also the point about the 'world forgetting'-- that sounded like memory altering, something like the monks had done to create Dawn. None of it sounded particularly good, but she'd rather know than be kept in the dark, even if it had the potential to hurt her. This void between them was hurting her more, at the moment. She'd risk further pain.

Rather wryly, because she was calmer now, maybe even capable of humor, and the opening was too easy, she commented, giving him a pointed look: "And I can't imagine why that'd piss anybody off."

Then there was a sigh, as she sobered again. "I do want to know. I don't like this, this us not-- I'd like us to be able to talk." Because maybe that way, they could learn to be friends, even if Spike said it was impossible. They'd never be able to do that while they were keeping secrets and dancing the dance of awkward, however. "There's... probably a lot I have to tell you, too. But..." She paused, lifting her hand to touch the necklace she was wearing, in the shape of a snowflake. "...can we not do this now? I need to-- I left without-- I have to get back to Jim."

Angel nodded. "When there's time, we'll talk. I don't like this anymore than you do. We've been taking the easy way out in keeping eachother in the dark, but it's time we stopped that unless we're looking to drive a bigger wedge in between us. I want to be your friend, Buffy, I just... I'm not sure I know how to be. Coming clean about...everything sounds like the right way to start."

He eyed the necklace she toyed with, half expecting it to be the silver cross he'd given her once upon a time. Instead, he found a small pendant-- a snowflake. He could easily guess where it came from or who, rather.

"You've got it bad for this kid, don't you?"

"Hasn't really felt like the easy way," she observed, hugging her elbows against the cold. Storming out of places was a lot more convenient in Summer. She nodded her agreement, with regards to coming clean about things-- it wouldn't be easy of course, but it would help. "We'll work it out, Angel." Pause. "I mean, Spike and I are downright chatty." Which was half a joke, admittedly, to try and lighten the tone. But also true. And if anything could motivate Angel as well as an If Spike can do it..., she had yet to discover it.

Buffy still had the necklace Angel gave her, she just didn't wear it anymore-- which seemed oddly metaphorical.

"Yeah. I really do," she answered honestly, not quibbling over the 'kid' terminology. That was just Angel. "And you, do you..." She couldn't quite believe these words were actually coming out of her mouth. "...love Cordelia?"

"Things with us never are," he added. If there was one word that could be used to define their relationship and lack thereof, it was complicated. In ever sense of the word. "You and Spike talk? Talk-talk?" Motivation is a go. Can't let Captain Peroxide one-up him. "That's..." Not a sentence he's going to finish with words, but a scoff and a shake of his head instead.

Her answer and the question that followed detoured him from starting again down the it's Spike train that was losing steam and going nowhere-- and really didn't have much of a point anymore, if he let himself really think about it. Which he wasn't at the moment. At least not ruminating on that particular topic.

"I do," he admits, going for this new honest route he's committed to, even if the truth hurts. "There wasn't-- A lot of the things I need to tell you about put a wedge in what we felt going anywhere or even being acknowledged. And then she died. I spent a lot of time denying it and not acting... I'm not about to make the same mistakes again."

"That's true," she nodded sombrely. Even when they were together, things had been difficult for one reason or another-- whether it was the disapproval of her friends, or the constant threat of apocalypse or the mountains of self-control required to stop at just kissing. None of it had been easy.

Her lips twitched just a little at his reaction, and she decided to offer further... incentive. "Yep. We talk. Long talking sessions. We went to the Bronze. There were even wings involved." Of course, her relationship with Spike had been very different to what she had with Angel, which probably explained a lot of it. She was also aware that, as bad as it sounded, Spike was still in love with her-- she could tell by the way he looked at her. He'd probably take any excuse to spend time with her, even if it was just platonic.

The affirmation from Angel did hurt, even if she did a valiant job of hiding it. She swallowed thickly, before replying. "I'm, umm." No, she wasn't glad, and there was no sense in an empty platitude. But her selfish personal feelings aside, she didn't want Angel to be lonely. She cared for him, in a way that went beyond the purely romantic- beyond jealousy. Because yes, she was jealous. "You deserve to be happy." Pause. "Not too happy, but. You know what I mean."

Now, if Angel knew that Spike was still in love with Buffy? Then there might be some issues, because it was Spike. There was that (mostly) unspoken of rivalry between them that seemed drove Angel to do things to best the blonde vampire that he otherwise wouldn't. He blamed a lot of it on Angelus' dormant nature, how he'd hated that Drusilla doted on Spike and had made it one of his many goals to constantly detour Dru's attention away from her fledgling to him, her sire. It always felt like Spike was jumping in on things that were his-- but of course, Buffy wasn't his anymore. She was Kirk's and even Angel himself was surprised by the lack of an urge to break the kid's arm and toss him into a wall that he'd felt so prominently when around Riley. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't jealous, for he was...just not as intensely anymore.

"Being too happy always going to be an issue," he acknowledged. "With anyone, it's going to be an issue. There's no way around that. Especially since--" He didn't finish that, for getting into that vision Cordelia had given him before she died and knowing that he'd be signing away his shanshu in order to do what needed to be done would keep her out here longer when they both had people to get back to and had agreed that this talk was something for another time.

"I want you to be happy, too. If there's anyone in the world who deserves it, it's you for all you've done." In attempt to make light of the situation, he added: "And if that kid ever does anything to hurt you, I've no problem with knocking him around a bit. He's only human, right?"

She wasn't about to press Angel to continue past his 'especially since'. Now wasn't the time, after all. For the moment she'd just give him a meaningful look, and say: "Just be careful, okay?" Of course she knew he'd probably given this a lot of thought already, before embarking on a new relationship, and she trusted him to be responsible, but... she really didn't want to have to deal with Angelus again. Ever.

"Thank you," she smiled, a little sadly. It was still a smile, nonetheless. "For wanting me to be happy, and the offer of violence. I don't think he will, though." Jim hadn't been anything other than good for her, thus far. Which reminded her-- what must he be thinking right now? She'd left with barely any explanation, and then Angel following right after... "I really should get back. We'll talk though, soon?"

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five | [Location: Levi's Mansion] | got my boots on, the right amount of leather

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